


Indestructible

by Moonrose001



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Animal Traits, Animal Transformation, Artistic Liberties are taken, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Cat Steve, Cat/Human Hybrids, First Time, Genderqueer Character, M/M, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Violence Towards Animals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-05
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-04-30 03:01:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 35,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5147852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonrose001/pseuds/Moonrose001
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stevie watches Bucky go from a boy to a man. He watches his human go to war.<br/>Stevie waits for his human, and through love and determination he becomes indestructible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AshaCrone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshaCrone/gifts).



> Constructive criticism and feedback are very appreciated!

Stevie is a being driven by instincts, and those instincts’ power on him lose their toll, when his survival is insured. When Bucky picks him up.

Fleas plagued Stevie at that point, and his ears were gnawed raw after several quarrels with neighborhood cats. Stevie isn’t allowed in the house Bucky lives in, but Bucky manages to take care of Stevie from his windowsill. He clears up Stevie’s eye infection, wraps Steve’s ears in soft cotton, gives him food, drink, petting when it is wanted and eventually, Bucky gives Stevie his name.

After some care the fleas leave Stevie’s fur. The scrapes and bites heal, only leaving dark spots and scars behind. Stevie is a skinny cat with sensitive paws, but he still gets into fights with larger cats. It gets him mates though.

Stevie gets older and so does Bucky. The little boy with scraped knees and easy baring of teeth gets taller. He doesn’t have time to play with Stevie so much anymore. But every evening, without missing a day, he opens the window from his room and sets out a plate of food. It can still be hard sometimes; other cats are hungry and wants the food too, so Stevie has to fight them off, and he has lost half an ear before he has managed to mark the territory and Barnes, his.

One day the window is open and Bucky is nowhere to be seen, so Stevie crawls inside to explore. There isn’t a lot to poke at, really, so when the window is slammed shut behind him, Stevie finds that it’s a trap. He runs to the door and claws at the wood, and when Bucky starts to chase him, he jumps onto the bed, then the windowsill to claw at the window. He is forced into a tub of water and soap, and even when he yowls for his dear life, nobody comes to interrupt the scene. Bucky is only satisfied with his efforts when Stevie has scratched him all over the arms, but then Bucky does wrap him up in a towel and lets Stevie nap and growl at him on his chest. The turning leafs of the square thing Bucky is so fascinated with, makes Stevie curious and he can’t help but poke out his paw and play with the leaves, becoming increasingly joyous when the leaf easily rips as he draws out his claws. This dissatisfies Bucky. Good.

Stevie is thrown off the bed, and in revenge, Stevie marks the room with his scent everywhere he can, ending the tour by rubbing against Bucky’s feet. Bucky wiggles his toes and when Stevie decides to conquer them, he is again thrown off the bed. Additionally thrown out of the window when the sound of other voices resonates in the hall. Where had they been when Stevie had yowled for help? Disrespectful.

Bucky is a poorly raised human, so Stevie tries his best to give the human some good manners. After all, it is his human and his responsibility. Although Bucky can do some impressive things, like creating fire and blow smoke out his mouth, he also does bad things, like snoring when he sleeps at night, so Stevie helpfully lies on his face to muffle the sound. You’re welcome, Bucky.

He’s a good human, in all. Sometimes he will steal some yarn from his dam, and let Stevie chase the yarn around, until he eventually bites Bucky’s fingers.

“You little rat,” Bucky curses, but he doesn’t sound mad. He lifts Stevie up, and purses his lips at him. “You rude, stubborn little – “

Stevie puts his paw on Bucky’s mouth as it moves and meows loudly and in a threatening manner, so the human will remember his place.

Bucky frowns at him, and Stevie wiggles free, walking off to scratch Bucky’s pillow and shed his fur around. He knows dam Bucky will shout at him for it. She’s a good dam, makes Bucky food everyday. Bucky should be more grateful she still takes care of him.

Time flows by, and Stevie becomes older. His joints aren’t what they have been, and all drive for mates have perished. He’s tired now, sleeps a lot. His aging exhaustion gives him a truce with the other house residents. Dam Bucky even feeds him sometimes.

Bucky stops growing. He is big now, his shoulders broad and strong. Probably all the food Stevie left him. No cats can tell Stevie doesn’t treat his human well.

But Bucky isn’t that grown, has merely reached his peak. He still arranges Stevie around his neck like that portable piece of fur humans use when they go outside.

And then one day Bucky leaves. Stevie isn’t as quick as he was once upon a time, but when Bucky empties his closet Stevie knows what’s coming. It’s all because of that letter. That letter that made Dam Bucky cry, and Sire Bucky clap Bucky’s back with the palm of his hand. Bucky had smiled, but Stevie smelled fear on him. As Bucky fills up a trunk, Stevie keeps picking the items up and scattering them all over the room. If the things can stay, no way Bucky will be able to leave.

But Bucky lashes out and locks him into the kitchen. With that letter smelling of dirt and ink. Stevie jumps up on the table and scratches it to pieces.

Bucky doesn’t take that very well either. For the first time in years, Stevie is thrown out of the house in anger. Stevie meows at him in protest, but to no avail. Ungrateful, furless, stupid human of a weak hunter.

The day after, Bucky leaves the house with his trunk, wearing clothes that smell new and foreign. Stevie follows him, despite Bucky’s warnings, until they reach the railway station. The loud trains frighten him, and so he leaves again and decides to just wait patiently at home.

A few weeks later, Bucky is back, but Stevie has weakened considerably. He is old. He can’t provide for Bucky like he used to. When Bucky leaves a few days later, Stevie tries to not let him, but to no avail.

Bucky says goodbye properly this time. He nudges Stevie and pets him. Stevie knows he’s leaving. He knows that’s what humans do, but he always had Bucky.

He lies where Bucky’s bed is made, and vows to wait for the soldier to come home.

\-----

Years go by, and Stevie continues to be tired. One bright morning, a big man comes through the door. He has a lot of fur on his upper lip in a red-copperish color, with streaks of silver in it. His red hair is covered with a round hat, which he takes off when he gets inside. He bows his big fat head at them. Bucky’s two female siblings look almost sane in front of the man; for once they're not howling and chasing him with brooms. Maybe they finally got rid of that rabies. There is a tense air in the living room, and Stevie slips inside and plays with the hat. Dam threatens him with the broom as Stevie continues distracting them, and in the end she whips her apron at him. He meows loudly in resentment and knows he is going to tip over her pots in the future. He jumps into the stranger’s lap in revenge.

“Who’s this guy?” the man asks, letting Stevie smell his hand before touching him like a properly raised human should.

“It’s that naughty old cat,” Mother Bucky says. “With its lice and bad manners.”

Stevie objects because he hasn’t had lice in years and that incident last year was because of the dog one of the female siblings petted outside the house.

Mother Bucky sniffs. “Bucky loved it so much. It hasn’t left his room since he left. It’s still waiting on him, probably gonna die soon anyway.”

The redheaded man smiles grimly. “Well, if he doesn’t have that long, let me take him off your hands. I can bring him next time I visit Buck’s gravestone. I live and work at a friend’s mansion at the moment, the change of scenery will be good for him before he passes.”

And so Stevie is picked up, and taken away to Stark Mansion.

\----

At the mansion, there lives a dark-haired boy with curious eyes and thick-skinned hands. He handles Stevie roughly and it takes days for the boy to learn to be gentle. Stevie is a living being. The boy, Tony, isn't used to that.

The residents in the big mansion aren't familiar with his name, so he's just called "cat" most of the time. Still, they are kind. At worst they ignore him, and at best they give him treats and pet him. Stevie has become fond of the man in the kitchen, Jarvis, who is good at giving him the remains of meals. The redheaded man, Dum-Dum, isn't around a lot, and when he is, he mostly just calls Stevie Ugly, but always takes his time smoothly petting Steve and combing his fur. It's a long time before the soldier fulfills his promise, and takes Stevie to the grave, but it happens.

Stevie is old, and he has seen death, but has yet to understand its immediate presence. When he sees the stone, he is confused. It does down on him that this is what he has been waiting for. But all he sees is a cold rock. A cold rock, some carvings, bouquets, but no Bucky. No more Bucky. Never more Bucky.

Stevie lies on the grass in front of the stone, and Dum-Dum eventually leaves. Stevie feels lonely. He feels cold. He doesn't know what to do now. He has witnessed how humans get weaker slower, which must've meant they become older than cats do. Bucky was supposed to outlive Stevie, not the other way around. Stevie licks the stone, marks it with his scent one last time. The sky is cloudy, been that way all day, but it's only now starting to rain. Stevie flinches as the first rain drops hits him, and cuddles against the stone. The rain eventually drenches him, makes him cold, then numb. It's alright though. They're together again. Only together again, can this finally end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another AU!.... hahaha seems i can't write anything else...  
> does this work seem familiar? I previously posted in the Stony tag about neko!steve, and later took it down. Don't worry, i haven't replicated anything.  
> Dedicated to my wonderful friend, Ashacrone, also known as the crazy cat lady. Hope you enjoy :3  
> 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will people stop expecting Stevie to die already? It’s kinda rude, and getting really weird.

Stevie, frankly, doesn’t expect to wake up again, however he is by the sound of shouts and then muffled crying. He blinks his blue eyes open, and perks up his head, only to find that Tony and Jarvis are standing not too far away from him, Tony clinging to Jarvis’ side and crying into the man’s side, while the man holds him.

“Don’t be sad, young master,” Jarvis consoles. “It was coming sooner or later.”

Stevie perks up further. What was coming? Food? Toys?

“Oh, look!” Jarvis urges Tony and lightly shakes Tony’s arm. “I think there’s still some life in him yet.”

Tony looks up and Stevie gets on his paws, and walks over to the couple, sniffing for treats. His paws still feel sensitive, but besides that he feels warm and healthy – more warm and healthy than he has felt for years. His joints are springy and without any aches, his body quick and agile as he goes to rub his scent on Tony. Tony giggles wetly, before kneeling down to pick him up.

“Why is he so dry?” Tony asks. “It’s been raining all night.”

“He probably found shelter during the night,” Jarvis explains, and Stevie starts to realize he understands their words. Many times he has heard human language, many times he has understood their meaning just by listening to the tone, but for once their conversation is clear-cut, full of meanings and nuances of understanding the cat usually doesn’t catch up on.

Not only that, but his thoughts seem louder, his emotions stronger. They were there before, but they were always muffled. Now he feels he has somehow woken up. The world is clear, and full of a content Stevie suddenly feels confused about. He wants to know everything all of a sudden.

“Come on, young master, let’s get breakfast,” Jarvis mildly orders, and Tony nods, happily walking away, Stevie still in his arms.

Stevie notices that it is indeed morning, and the sun has already worked some of its way up on the sky. He’s hungry, and very overwhelmed with the richness of his emotions and his thoughts.

It’s as if the instincts have finally totally let go.

\----

As Stevie starts to stop oversimplifying his surroundings – what will hurt him, what won’t, what will feed him, what won’t - he also becomes curious. Why isn’t he allowed in the workshop, the room full of electricity and machines? Who’s the man always in there, and why are Dum-Dum and he always arguing? Who is Red Skull? What is a Hydra?

Stevie tries to sneak inside the workshop, but gets chased out every time. Apparently Tony has tried so many times that the machines pick up ‘heat signatures’ now (Stevie doesn’t know what it is, just knows it’s a massive bother) and the man with the black moustache, Howard, is always alerted immediately to the cat’s presence and makes sure Stevie is locked out before he continues his work.  

Stevie eventually lets it be.

Stevie’s perception of time had always been so foggy, looking back at it. It was always directed day-to-day. But now Stevie is aware of time passing, he’s aware that he has yet to die. To the contrary, he actually feels younger and so full of energy it’s almost like being a kitten again.

Which is weird, because Dum Dum was born some years before Bucky… and Dum Dum is an old human. An old, old human. His hair is almost gray, and he is retired. Stevie met Bucky when the boy was 13… a year after Stevie was born.

Stevie is a very old cat.

And he realizes he isn’t the only cat this way – with an old mind, but a young body. Many cats walk around New York, older than they appear, smarter than anyone wants them to be. Besides the occasional mating, Stevie doesn’t bother with them. They stay out of his territory, and he stays out of theirs.

\----

The more time passes, the more Stevie understands how odd his life is, but it’s not something he dwells on for too long. He has Tony to feed after all. The boy is growing. Stevie has showers to avoid, doors to open in the middle of the night by meowing really loudly, small spaces to crawl into and take a nap in, things to push off tables, books to destroy. Sometimes the man in the workshop shouts at Tony, and then it’s Stevie’s duty to cheer up the boy until his human isn’t sad anymore. Or Stevie just annoys Tony by playing with his stuff until the boy stops crying to make Stevie stop. It’s all the same in the end, and so Stevie is a very busy cat.

Until something entirely else, takes his attention. There’s this guy, Obadiah, walking around Stark Mansion as if he owns it, even though Stevie has marked his scent everywhere. He’s huge, bald and emits fake warmth. Through Obadiah, Stevie finds out the difference between grins and baring your teeth.

Obadiah sleeps over at the Mansion often, and Stevie always makes sure that his stay is terrible by shredding his ties, crumpling his shirts, pulling out the lamp wires or removing the dark curtains in the early morning.

One day, during his usual tour of terrorization while Obadiah is bathing and talking into a phone, Obadiah mentions: “Yes, I want Howard dead. Maria too. The payments will be arranged. No, the kid will be our gold goose for the future.”

Stevie doesn’t dislike Maria, but doesn’t exactly like her. She ignores him, and he ignores her. The same goes with Howard.

He likes Tony though. He likes Jarvis.

Either way, he won’t see his humans dead. He knows humans always make such a big deal out of it, but there’s not much more into Stevie’s decision.

Stevie sneaks into the bathroom and Obadiah lets him. The radio is standing on the edge of the bathtub, muffling the sound of his voice. Stevie finally knows why Obadiah doesn’t like anyone listening to his conversations. Howard always says that Obadiah shouldn’t have that radio in here and so close while Obadiah baths, it’s too close to the water. But Obadiah says he’s got it. He never had an accident before, remember.

Stevie makes a beeline for the radio, and Obadiah reaches out for him in alarm, his phone falling from his grasp, the wire attached to it making sure it doesn’t fall all the way over the edge.

Stevie pushes the radio into the water.

Obadiah never had an accident with the radio until today.

\----

The church where the funeral is hold is on the other side of Manhattan, and Stevie sits on Tony’s lap in the car. The boy’s face is in his hands as he cries. He didn’t know Obadiah well, but the man was kind to him; a rare thing on Stark Mansion. Stevie knows Obadiah was only kind to Tony for the future benefits, so he doesn’t feel bad about killing him, but he doesn’t like Tony being sad. That’s mostly why he went along, and probably why Jarvis allowed him to.

The next week Tony is sent to boarding school. The next month Jarvis passes away, and Maria and Howard move out.

The house is locked down, but there is still a cat door to the garage and Stevie sleeps in there on cold days. He still keeps to Stark Mansion, but leaves the grounds when he needs to find food.

Some years later, Stevie overhears cleaning staff say that Howard and Maria passed away.

\----

Once in a while, Tony drops by to check the condition of the Mansion. Every time he comes he is older, meaner, more drunk, and so Stevie stays in the shadows and doesn’t greet him. He talks with the lady he brings though, the redheaded one with those tall, inconvenient heels, which has nearly stepped on Stevie on several occasions. She’s nice. She picks him up, and combs his fur with her fingers even though he properly smells.

\----

The first time Stevie properly greets Tony, the man has gotten gray hairs around his hairline. But he doesn’t smell of alcohol for once, and something with his behavior has rounded, become more relaxed and yet more intense. He speaks gently with the redheaded woman, before he goes to get baggage out of a big vehicle, other people getting out of it. There’s one blond man, another redheaded lady, a man with sand-colored hair and four humans with dark hair.

Stevie crosses the space between the garage and the main entrance to the Mansion. The cleaning staff were here, getting things cleaned and ready for occupation some days ago, so their visits doesn’t surprise him. He goes to sniff at her leather bag to get her attention down to him the quickest way possible. As always her reflexes are quick when it comes to her bag, and her disgruntled frown melts away when she sees him. He doesn’t know if she recognizes him. There are many tabby cats like him, although not so many with discolored eyes and ears looking like someone has tried to rip them to sheds.

“Hello,” she coos. “You’re still around?”

Will people stop expecting Stevie to die already? It’s kinda rude, and getting really weird.

She picks him up and strokes his back. He purrs, having missed the contact of a human, and she smiles down at him. “You’ll be happy to know all of us are moving in, you poor neglected dear.”

“I can get it myself!” someone shouts and Stevie freezes.

He turns his head, and out of the big car, one of the brunet’s are getting a big trunk out of the car. His hair is longer than Tony’s and the man with glasses, shorter than the dark-haired woman. His shoulders are broad and strong, but one arm is made of or covered in metal this time. His voice is. His face is.

All of it comes back, and Steve.

Steve thought he had forgotten.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You see that, Barnes. Bacon. You upgraded from mice to bacon. Better not run off and disappear for seventy years again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait, in-between exams right now, will try to get a longer chapter out next time

It's impossible. It must be.

It's been so long. 

So long.

\----

When Stevie comes back, the people have already moved into his house. He sneaks his way in through the cat door and meows and claws at the door, until somebody, the man with the sandcolored hair, lets him in. He looks at the man for a while, inviting him to pet him, and the man does, crouching down to scratch Stevie’s head. He smells like dog and coffee, like grease and sweat. Stevie receives the petting passively for a while, purring softly, until the man feels assured enough to pick him up.

It’s a good sign. Bad humans pick cats up like a sack of potatoes; without asking and like they own them. Good humans wait until the cat feels reassured enough to be picked up. Stevie decides that the human with the sandcolored hair is his, though it might mean that he has to share him with a dog. They’ll get to that.

The man carries him into the living room, where the redheaded woman is sitting in front of the fire, only wearing tights and a white t-shirt. She smells good, and he finds out her name is Natasha. He accepts it when she reaches out with a small, calloused hand to scratch his head. Impatiently he waits for them to talk about the longhaired man, but their conversation keeps circling around the house and its blind spots. Stevie damn well knows his house’ blind spots and no one were allowed to do anything about them, because it was in the blind spots Stevie captured his prey.

Finally Clint tentatively asks: “Any idea where Winter is?”

Natasha shrugs. “Freaked out when he saw the cat. Probably inspecting the area.”

Idiot. What took him so long? Stevie wriggles free from Clint’s lap, and leaves the room. He meows at the front door, until Clint comes to get it open (“Just let it be!” “What, you want him to shit inside?” “It has got to have a litter box somewhere”). He searches the area, and finds Winter at the gate.

His back is broader then it used to be. Tenser. Stevie can tell that he’s using strength making his back remain straight. Maybe it’s the arm. It looks heavy. And shiny. Stevie loves shiny arms.

He meows in advance because Winter seems deeply in thought, and Winter flies around with a gun already pointed at him. Stevie meows again, not afraid, but he doesn’t near the man, until he has lowered the gun with a heavy sigh. Stevie runs over to the man, his heart beating quickly. He doesn’t know what to believe, but his instincts tell him that the truth is as he sees it. That this is real.

He doesn’t smell like Bucky. Probably because Stevie’s scent is missing. Well, maybe if the idiot hadn’t gotten lost in the middle of a war for seventy years, then maybe –

While Stevie is trying his uttermost to rub his smell off on the soldier, Winter picks him up, and Stevie yowls in complaint of the suddenness more than in protest, but the Soldier immediately lets him go anyway. Stevie lands on his paws and immediately circles him and then puts his paws on Winter’s legs, drawing out his claws. Winter doesn’t react visibly, his face blank. Stevie inspects that face, searching for a lie or for some indication that this man is just the blood of the man Stevie once knew. But his face is just too picture perfect to be kin.

The broad jaw, the lifted upper lip, the tall forehead, straight bold brows, the blue eyes. The stubble doesn’t become him, and certainly the hollow in his cheeks, which makes his cheekbones and jaw look snake-like weren’t there before but… it’s him. It has to be.

He backs off a couple of steps and then jumps up in Bucky’ arms. Bucky catches him almost automatically, and looks down at him with an utterly hopeless look in his eyes. Stevie complains at him, until Bucky sits down on the grass and starts stroking his back. Stevie curls up and purrs in enjoyment. Definitely him. Bucky always knew how to pet a cat right.

They sit there for hours, until eventually Bucky goes inside to pee. Stevie complains outside the door the whole time, just to make sure that Bucky remembers what he’s supposed to be doing. Bucky comes out and they continue the petting on his bed. After an hour or two, Stevie smells food downstairs, and he goes downstairs. One of the people, a girl, who a red person called Vision calls Wanda, is frying bacon. When she turns around, Stevie sticks his paws in the pan and tryingly pokes at the bacon. Still not too crisp. He steals a slice, and has time to get it in his mouth before Wanda chases him away.

He gnaws at the piece for a while, before going in for a mouthful and she whips the spatula at him. He meows in triumph as he leaves the kitchen (Vision ends up taking some threatening steps towards him anyway) and going back to Bucky’s room. He claws at the door, until Bucky opens it, and drops the bacon at his feet.

You see that, Barnes. Bacon. You upgraded from mice to bacon. Better not run off and disappear for seventy years again. Stupid human.

Bucky eats it but in a very unappreciative manner, so Steve rips his toilet paper into pieces. Instead of getting mad about it, Bucky gives him another roll and watches in slight interest as Steve rips it to pieces while slowly chewing the bacon.

No matter how vicious Stevie is about Bucky’s belongings, he never leaves Bucky for too long. He regularly checks up on him, afraid that the man will disappear, but the man’s routine is surprisingly plain: mostly consisted of staring at the walls and take care of his basic needs, until Steve jumps onto his head or something. He never succeeds, exactly, and mostly he ends up hanging off the man’s arm, but it’s okay, because then Bucky is paying attention to him and…

Stevie sleeps on Bucky’s chest that night. Bucky isn’t really sleeping, Stevie can tell. He’s just breathing slowly and getting a little bit loose. Pretending to be human for some hours or something.

\----

The day after, Stevie meets dog.

Dogs are odd creatures.

Cats – especially cats of Steve’s kind – have always assumed that all the years serving humans have diminished their independence. They never really talk to cats, though some housecats testify otherwise. Rumor is that dogs choose to be silent, but not with the cats they grew up with. Dogs are actually really clever beings, they just pretend to be shallow and they just don’t like wrestling a lot.

They stare at each other for minutes while Bucky makes breakfast.

  * _You can’t be quiet forever,_ Stevie lets Lucky now.



Lucky is missing an eye. Where it should be open, his lids are closed shut permanently.

  * _Most of my ear is missing too,_ he tells Lucky.



That ear doesn’t capture sound so well after most of it was bitten off. Lucky crouches down and licks Stevie’s snout. Stevie bats him away with a paw.

Wanda yells something at them in her language, but Stevie doesn’t need to understand her language to understand the threat.

  * _You’re old,_ Lucky finally says. Warily.
  * _Yes,_ Stevie confirms and looks up in interest as Bucky gets sausage out of the fridge.
  * _What do you want to know?_
  * _I don’t want to know anything._
  * _Cats always want to know something._



Stevie looks at Bucky. – _Where did he come from?_

  * _Found him,_ Lucky answers. – _In a tank in a base deep below the ground. Sleeping. In ice._



Bucky has been _sleeping?_ Stevie has waited for 70 years because _that asshole overslept?_

  * _They did something to him when he was awake,_ Lucky continues, longingly eyeing the sausage too. _– Something which made him do what they wanted. They found him by accident. Tried to give him his will back. Isn’t going so great._



Stevie doesn’t answer. When Bucky goes to talk to Wanda, he steals the sausage and throws it at Lucky’s feet, before following the soldier.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Aw, a little kitty,” a guy coos, Rumlow they’re calling him in his earpiece, as he aims the gun at Stevie.
> 
> Stevie looks him in the eye and pushes Rumlow down the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for fighting scenes with gore-ish character, and animal abuse!  
> Otherwise enjoy!

Stevie’s mansion is a lot rowdier and harder to manage since the humans came. Not because his humans (because that is what they have become – his) are naughty or anything, but it appears there are always uninvited unwanted guests coming.

Stevie sighs as he observes the men in black –STRIKE they’re apparently called – make their way up the stairs. Bucky is strangling someone to death with his metal arm in another room, and more men in black are sneaking up the stairs. His human has seemed so agitated lately that Stevie can’t help but feel sorry for him and when he sees the armed, sneaking men, he decides to take them for Bucky, even though it’ll probably result laziness.

“Aw, a little kitty,” a guy coos, Rumlow they’re calling him in his earpiece, as he aims the gun at Stevie.

Stevie looks him in the eye and pushes Rumlow down the stairs. He knows his strength has grown greater than it used to be over the years, so it doesn’t surprise him when Rumlow takes the push hard and tumbles down the stairs, dragging another guy with him.

Stevie meows and goes to the other room, where Bucky has already gotten hold of some firearms and is aiming at the doorway.

Stevie meows reassuringly, and jumps up on a shelf, where he’s visible to the soldier. He lies down and swirls his tail.

He waves Stevie to his side.

 _\- YOU get over here. Lazy bum,_ Stevie meows and then promptly yowls as a bullet hits the wall beside his head and he shoots to Bucky’s side. Bucky watches him run and when Stevie disappears behind his back he lifts the gun and takes out the two agents hiding behind doorways and walls. Stevie bites his ankle because he still hasn’t forgiven Bucky for ordering him around, and Bucky shakes his foot.

“You take the Widow, I’ll get the asset,” Rumlow growls somewhere and oh no they’re not.

Stevie sprints out even though Bucky makes a desperate whining sound at him, and runs to the stairs, quickly making the agents trip over themselves and tumble down the marble stairs (again). He jumps up on top of one and stabs his claws into his eyes, while biting directly into his throat. The man shouts and punches Stevie’s body, and for a moment Stevie is overwhelmed with the blood squirting out of the man’s cut carotid artery and pain exploding in his rip cage. Far away Stevie hears Rumlow and two other agents reach the top of the staircase and start shooting at Bucky.

The man in Stevie’s mouth sways and Stevie jumps off just in time before another person, a woman, shoots at Stevie, instead hitting his friend’s bulletproof vest. The force of the bullet gets the bleeding man down on his back and Stevie jumps onto the other shooter’s bulletproof vest, and climbs up swiftly, clawing at the shooter’s face. She hurls Stevie to the ground, and Stevie yowls as he feels several of his ribs snap.

Rage flares up in him. Almost in slow motion Stevie sees himself bite at the edge of the shooter’s helmet and feel it snap in two in his jaws. She gasps in shock, lashing out at Stevie, but he is moving around her body like a determined spider, until he finally gets his claws into her neck. He feels his claws grow longer in her flesh and she screams shortly, before he has cut off her windpipe and her carotid artery. When she falls, he lets go and curls together on a step. His ribs are throbbing in pain. His head aches. He feels miserable. He wants to proclaim this as loud as possible so Bucky will get his ass over here, but he’s afraid he can’t take on other STRIKE people and meowing will only attract them.

It’s not long before Bucky rambles down the stairs, blood on his hands. He makes loud keening noises as he searches for Stevie, and when he picks Stevie up he looks so darn unhappy. For a moment Stevie is afraid that Bucky will shoot him. Humans do that. When animals are in pain. They kill them.

But instead Bucky carefully puts him in the basket Pepper bought for him a week ago, when they moved in, and puts the basket in a closet. Stevie falls asleep in the darkness.

\----

When he wakes up, Bucky is scratching his head.

  * _Bucky,_ Stevie calls out desperately, and for a moment he thinks this was all a fever dream, that Bucky is still gone and Stevie is still waiting, _always waiting –_



Bucky soothingly shushes him and Stevie can’t even bring himself to beat some manners in him.

Stevie sits up, and to his wonder, his broken ribs only feel like a dull pain. He nears Bucky, and Bucky, who is still dirty with blood and sweat, picks him up. Stevie leans in to him.

  * _Don’t leave,_ Stevie begs. – _I don’t know who I am or what I am because of you. So don’t leave._



But he knows that Bucky only understands it as petty mewls, and in the end Stevie is just a cat and nothing to a human, but…

Stevie doesn’t know what he has done or if he even likes what he has become. Even now it feels like he’s still waiting. Bucky isn’t the man he was before the war. But is Stevie the cat he was back then? He had been so young and so old at the same time. So naïve, and yet at the end of his lifespan. And so many years had gone by, and now it was the opposite. He felt older, but his body showed no signs of giving up.

Damn. Stevie wishes so bad to tell Bucky. He wishes he could speak to Bucky. Well. It’s not like Bucky has spoken one sentence since he came back either.

\----

While Stark is out updating the mansion’s security, Bucky feeds him with bacon. It’s too salty and greasy for Stevie’s liking, but he likes to let Bucky feed him, so he puts up with it. When Bucky looks somewhat satisfied, Stevie jumps up onto his lap.

It’s not long before Clint and Lucky are walking past, Lucky in a leash.

  * _Disgraceful,_ Stevie comments, turning his nose up at the sight of the leash.
  * _Not all of us can go and come as we want to,_ Lucky counters.
  * _Maybe if you didn’t get lost so easily and stopped ambushing people on the street_ …



Lucky barks at Stevie and Stevie hisses, and Clint tugs at the leash and Bucky glares at the dog.

“We’re going to the park,” Clint tells Bucky.

Bucky still glares at the dog.

“Winter,” Clint calls out and Bucky looks up at him. “We’re going to the park. You alright on your own?”

Bucky nods, and Clint gives him one last wary glance, before he leaves. Stevie hears the door shut after them. He wiggles free from Bucky and walks out of the cat door. He wants to know what he needs to be jealous about and what’s so great about this park.

It doesn’t take long for him to catch up with Clint, who doesn’t seem to realize the honor of having Stevie’s claws dug into his calves.

Clint waves him away, and Stevie follows them until they get to Central Park. In disgust Stevie looks at all the pets (even other cats to Stevie’s distaste), the vendors, and the children. So loud and obnoxious.

But Lucky seems excited. Clint throws a plastic disk away several times, and makes Lucky go get it.

  * _Dog, this is embarrassing,_ Stevie says, watching how happy and proud Lucky is when he presents Clint with the disk and Clint’s pleased face. – _This game is lame._
  * _It’s not a game,_ Lucky says. – _He just keeps throwing it away, so I’m helping him. He can’t help it. A lot of humans do it, see, look around._



Stevie does look around and sights the game all over the field. – _As someone who understands human language better than you, I’m telling you this is a setup._

  * _You’re wrong,_ Lucky brushes him off.



Whoever said dogs are smart are so wrong. Clearly dogs’ unconditional loyalty and love is standing in the way of logical conclusions.

Later, Lucky is socializing with some dogs, and Stevie is resting on a bench, damp from the eternal shadow it’s always resting in underneath the tree crowns, and dozes a bit. At some point, Clint starts to talk to a brown-skinned woman who is standing with a lot of dogs, like, eight dogs. They’re chatting excitedly about dogs.

Speaking about dogs. Stevie scans the field, looking for Lucky and sights him sneezing at some sloppy dog treats on the grass. Stevie blinks, turning his ears, and is about to doze off again, when his eyes focus on the treats.

Metal. There are metal nails in them.

Stevie jumps off the bench just as Lucky begins to scoop one up with his tongue.

Stevie slaps Lucky across the snout with his claws out in pure rage and shock. – _Spit it out!_

  * _No get your own!_ Lucky argues.
  * _LUckY!_ Stevie yowls and jumps on Lucky, clamping his arms around Lucky’s neck and gnawing softly at his snout. Lucky is whimpering and angry, doesn’t fight but stubbornly doesn’t spew it out either, and just as Clint comes dashing, Lucky finally spits it out. Clint drags Stevie off the dog, dropping him harshly, yelling “You insane cat!”



And then he sees the treats. He picks one up on and inspects it, and quickly gathers the treats together in his hand.

Stevie hisses at him and then at Lucky. – _There were nails in them, you dumb dog!_

  * _I would’ve seen them!_
  * _You’re fucking colorblind!_
  * _So are YOU!_



Clint picks him up and they start heading back. Lucky and Stevie keep snapping at each other all the way home, and Lucky immediately goes to get sympathy from Natasha about his scratched nose and Stevie sullenly goes to Bucky. Stupid dog. Stupid Clint. None of them deserve him.

He finds Bucky in his bedroom, sitting close by the window sill, his head bent over a book. Because Stevie has pride, he doesn’t whimper when he crawls into Bucky’s lap. Bucky shrugs the book loose underneath Stevie’s weight and continues reading. Stevie pounces at the book, and Bucky lets it drop like he doesn’t have anything to say in the matter, and starts petting him. Good human.

Someone knocks, and Stevie looks up and hisses at the door.

“I’m coming in, Winter,” Clint warns and barges inside. On his plate there is bacon. Fried bacon.

“Hey friend,” he coos at Stevie. “I’ve got a treat for you.”

 _\- Of all the things it had to be bacon,_ Stevie pouts. – _I’m still mad at you. Don’t think this make things right._

But Stevie lets himself be cuddled with and apologized to, and he guesses Clint’s outrage is understandable. Stevie is, after all, a very dangerous predator, and Clint was right to fear for Lucky’s life.

At Bucky’s questioning look, Clint explains: “Lucky nearly ate some nailed dog treats today. There are these nasty people who throw them around in the park, if not with nails, then with rat poison and bleaching products.”

Bucky’s face strains, and he looks worriedly over Clint’s shoulder, where Lucky is sitting, his tail curled around his figure and his snout ducked.

  * _Sorry,_ he apologizes.
  * _It’s fine,_ Stevie purrs.



\-----

  * _No, I’m telling you,_ Lucky repeats. – _Humans are definitely immortal!_
  * _No they’re not,_ Stevie argues. – _They just live longer._
  * _You’re crazy!_
  * _No, I’m not! Cats live for a longer time than dogs do too. I’ve seen humans get old and die._
  * _Lies! You can’t be that old!_



“They’re doing it again,” Clint says.

“Doing what?” Natasha doesn’t look up from his tablet.

“Just sitting there and… staring at each other.” Clint visibly shivers. “It’s spooky. That cat is spooky.”

“Don’t say that in front of Winter,” Natasha says. “He likes it. It’s good for him.”

“Relax, I’m not. See!” Clint accusingly points at Stevie. “He’s looking at us right as we started talking about him!”

“Coincidence.”

“He’s looking at us like he knows us.”

“Don’t be dumb.”

\----

The events continue. Stevie is taking a nap on the garden table, bathing in the sunrays, when he wakes up by cold hands grabbing him and throwing him around. He feels the end of an iron wall as he bounces into it. He howls as loudly as possible, and the woman holding the cage shakes it while cursing at him.

20 minutes later he’s hissing in the kitchen. HYDRA gassed the house before entering this time, and Clint, Tony, Wanda and Natasha are out. Bruce is in handcuffs and trying to contain himself, because apparently “hulking out” won’t be worth the damage and Thor is brawling with tanks outside. Bucky is lying on his stomach, some word having frozen his movements and fighting completely and made him lay still as the captors bound him. Vision is locating the outlet for the gas, and Stevie thinks he has succeeded, because Natasha, Clint, Tony and Wanda have been waking up steadily.

He meows questioningly when he sees Tony shortly open his eyes, only to close them again. Can’t they wake up completely soon? Stevie hates this cage. - _Get moving already, lazy incapable idiots._

The woman guarding them kicks his cage (for the umpteenth time). He sticks out a paw and tries to claw at her leg, but to no avail. His claw is only stuck in the fabric, and she gets so annoyed she throws his cage at the floor, painfully yanking out the claw. He yowls, tumbling around and landing on his shoulder as the cage stills.

  * _DOG_ , he shouts. – _DOG_.



He hears Lucky barking outside, and Stevie tries again.

When Lucky doesn’t come running, Stevie calls his human.

  * _Bucky,_ he calls. –



Bucky doesn’t react.

Finally Lucky comes running in. He seems dizzy and not fully there – he has been affected with the gas as well – but he clumsily jumps the woman. Thankfully, she falls right on top of one of the oak cupboards and gets knocked out when the edge hits her temple. She really should’ve kept on her helmet. Too van. Just like that Rumlow dude. Keeping his helmet on would probably have saved him too.

“Lucky,” Clint calls out. “Her card. Her keycard. Gimme, boy. Good boy.”

Lucky blankly sniffs around the woman, tries to find it through how much Clint cheers him on.

But he keeps missing it. The word “key” confuses him. He’s not used to keycards. He’s looking for metal.

  * _Dog_ , Stevie calls out. He doesn’t feel any better than Lucky looks.



Lucky runs over to him and wiggles his tail as he looks at the cage. – _I like you in there. Suits you._

  * _Shut up. You see that square piece of plastic? It’s black._



Lucky turns his head and looks. – _Yeh_.

  * _Give it to Clint._
  * _My human!_
  * _Your human._



Lucky goes to pull the card out of her pocket and drags himself over to Clint. Clint runs the card through Natasha’s fisticuffs with his teeth and they click off. She releases her comrades, and gets Stevie out of his cage.

  * _Come, Lucky._
  * _Where are we going?_
  * _We need to guard Bucky. He can’t move._



Stevie curls himself together in a ball in the small of Bucky’s back, and Lucky nestles against Bucky’s side. They watch his back, as he lies there, paralyzed except a subtle, sweaty shaking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if i haven't said it already, i'm well aware that Stevie's arrogance is OC, and I've chosen to make it a part of his personality because, well, he's a cat and I suspect they secretly think they rule the world.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Who the Hell is Bucky?” Bucky asks, pulling his arm away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry for the long wait. here's a short chapter. Hope you enjoy!

”I thought you said you got all of the trigger words,” Tony exclaims. Some guy in a wheelchair is here, talking to Bucky’s paralyzed body on the floor in the kitchen.

Natasha grits her teeth, looking up. When she does, the current headache she just told Clint about doesn’t show. “I thought that as well.”

“Then what happened?” Tony asks, this time less accusatory and more concerned.

She shrugs. “I don’t know. But we asked for Xavier this time. Hopefully he’ll get the rest of them.”

Thor, sitting on the kitchen table still in his armor, speaks up: “Have you perhaps tried to talk to the Soldier of Winter?”

“Just because we come from the same place, doesn’t make me his shrink,” Natasha snaps.

“How did you get better?” Tony asks anyway.

Natasha glares at him and then gets up and walks away. Stevie turns his head and follows her with his eyes, before looking back at the slumped sets of shoulders.

When nobody says anything for a while, Stevie leaves them and goes to the door to the kitchen. He meows and scratches at the door, hoping somebody will let him in. When nobody replies, he can’t help but impatiently call out: - _Let me in, stupid._

He hears the sharp intake of breath, before the sound of a low humming engine.

The door opens, and a bald, skinny man looks down at him with soft eyes. Since the man’s big wheelchair is in the way, Stevie chooses to jump on top of him before jumping down from him again.

Bucky is sitting now, and he looks a little amazed, a little relieved and very terrified. Stevie jogs over to him and Bucky holds out his hands to sniff. Stevie does take a second to smell the gunpowder, blood and sweat stinking a mile of horror, before he tryingly puts his paws on Bucky’s thick thigh. He jumps on top of him when Bucky only scratches his head, and gets to work at rubbing his smell on him.

  * _Did you speak?_ A voice calls out.



Stevie glances around. It doesn’t sound like Lucky, or any other old cat Stevie knows.

  * _Who is this?_ Stevie replies.



Xavier waves his hand, looking slightly amazed. – _I did._

Stevie tilts his head. – _A human who can communicate?_

  * _I wasn’t aware animals could either._



Stevie curls together in a ball and Bucky lightly strokes his back.

  * _It’s not all of us who can,_ Stevie grumpily replies. – _What happened to my human?_



Xavier’s brows arch. – _Words have been implanted in his mind to make him react in certain ways._

  * _Ways as in behaving like a stiff spaghetti?_



Xavier doesn’t quite smile, but his eyes seem to crease in amusement. – _He’ll get better. I removed them all._

Stevie grunts, but it comes out as a cough. – _I will find you if you did a sloppy job._

  * _What’s your name?_
  * _Stevie._
  * _Who gave you that name?_



Stevie doesn’t answer, because Bucky is petting his sacrum and he’s purring loudly.

  * _Normally, when I try to communicate with animals, I always hear noise. Indistinguishable traffic._



Stevie closes his eyes, purring. – _Instincts._

  * _And how come your instincts aren’t so loud?_ Xavier asks.
  * _You talk more than the dog._
  * _I’m sorry._
  * _Good human. Instincts are here to make us survive. When we learn how to survive, the instincts quiet. But we learn very slowly._
  * _So what it really takes is time?_
  * _Yes._
  * _How long time did it take for you?_
  * _A long time._
  * _How long?_
  * _A long time._



Xavier’s forehead wrinkles and Stevie hopes that the man will stay quiet.

He’s shit out of luck.

  * _I can’t read you unless you speak,_ Xavier notices.
  * _Is that so,_ Stevie uninterestingly replies.



Bucky pets his stomach and Stevie hisses in warning, before nipping at his fingers.

  * _Do you know him?_ Xavier asks.



Stevie looks up at him. – _I knew him before I knew myself._

Bucky starts to groom him, so Stevie ignores the rest of Xavier’s questions. He continues his session with Bucky for around ten minutes. Stevie knows Bucky doesn’t talk, so they’re probably communicating through their heads. After a while Xavier nods, and says: “I will come next week if you remember something else.”

  * _Goodbye, Stevie._



\----

Stevie isn’t dumb. When he sees Bucky pack his bag in the middle of the night, two weeks after the latest assault and the Avengers are out storming a Hydra base, he knows what’s coming. Deep anguish fills him as he realizes that Bucky is going to leave him again.

Bucky carefully shuts the door in Stevie’s face when Stevie starts to follow. So he tries. He tries to take control of his body, and enhance it like it does on its own when he’s in combat. He looks at his paws, looks at his claws, and wills them to change. He doesn’t know where he gets the ability from, but his paws lengthen and become fingers. His arms and legs stretch out, and the fur starts to pull in, until there are no more stripes, almost no hairs at all. Underneath his fur, he is pale and cold. He doesn’t become that tall when he stands up on two shaky legs.

And then he’s standing there, 5’4” nothing, 95 lbs. Before he can feel the fear of being a very small, very fragile human, though that’s definitely bigger and better than he was before, he goes to search Bucky’s closet. Only then does he realize how seriously small he is, so he moves on to Wanda’s room, since she’s the smallest of the Avengers and quickly searches her closet. His hands are clumsy, his knees shaky, but the more he uses this body the safer it feels.

He finds a navy dress, which reaches his knees. He puts it on, and finds a beanie that hides his ears, which are very much still a cat’s, and ties his tail around his waist. Grabbing Natasha’s leather jacket, and some flat boots, he’s soon leaving the Mansion and walking into Middletown. A human wouldn’t be able to track Bucky down, but Stevie’s nose and ears help him pick up the trail. He's clumsy but determined. Following the scent and the smell of Bucky’s clothes, he uses his eyes to scan the crowd.

It’s not long before Stevie finds him. He’s standing in front of a hole in the wall kiosk, staring at a newspaper.

_LEAKED SSR INFORMATION: HUMAN EXPERIMENTS FOUND AT HYDRA BASE – ONE HAD BEEN FROZEN FOR AT LEAST FIFTY YEARS. THIS IS WHAT THE AVENGERS DID._

Bucky loosens his eyes away from the newspaper and quickly continues walking, his eyes facing forwards, his steps quick and sure. Stevie can now smell the scent of his metal arm, and the oil, which keeps it running smoothly inside.

Shoving his way through the crowd with sharp elbows and some scratching, he finally reaches the soldier.

“Bucky!” he shouts and Bucky turns around and stares at Stevie in part confusion and part anger.

“Who the Hell is Bucky?” Bucky asks, pulling his arm away.

It’s the first sentence to have come out of Bucky’s mouth.

Stevie growls and clamps his fingers into Bucky’s sleeve. “Don’t play dumb. Why are you leaving the Mansion? I thought things were going well?”

Bucky’s eyes widen and then suddenly Stevie is dragged through the crowd into a small ally.

“Who sent you? Who the Hell are you?” Bucky growls, pushing Stevie into the wall.

Stevie meets his eyes. “Yours.”

And there are two things that happen in that moment: Stevie puts his hand on Bucky’s neck, the only bare piece of skin, and Bucky stares at him.

Color fills his cheeks, and his eyes become wet and glazed.

“I’m your home,” Stevie continues and does what he always wished he could do. He twines his arms around Bucky’s neck.

Bucky’s arms enclose Stevie’s slight frame and he’s lifted up. Stevie presses his cool face into Bucky’s neck, and they stand there, just holding each other. Something clicks into place. They’re together. This is how it was always supposed to be.

Soon, Bucky lets go. He takes Stevie and leads him through the crowd, his body shielding him from the people always about to trample Stevie down. They walk until they reach Hallett Nature Sanctuary, and Bucky sits on a bench. He looks confused and helpless, but also a bit hopeful. Stevie takes his usual seat on Bucky’s lap. It’s hard to sit as comfortable as he usually sits, but Bucky’s thighs are thick and warm and Stevie is small.

Bucky tenses for a second before he lifts his hand and strokes Stevie’s back in calming circles. Stevie purrs and rests his cheek on Bucky’s shoulder, his breathing shaky and quick.

“What’s my name?” Bucky asks.

“Bucky,” Stevie silently informs him. “Your mother called you James. Her name was Winifred. Your father’s name was George. You had two sisters: Rebecca and Jane. Your mother had another daughter after you left. Mary.”

“What was my full name?” Bucky whispers.

Stevie looks at him. “James Barnes.”

Bucky nods. “What is your name?”

Stevie looks at him, and then softly smiles. “You know.”

Bucky frowns and then shakes his head. “No. No, I don’t remember, they wiped – “

“I know,” Stevie interrupts even though he doesn’t. “You gave me my name. You are the only one who has ever called me by name. If you don’t remember now, you will soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> has the shift from cat to human been too sudden? :S Idk. let me know.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Soon Stevie is pushed into a changing room with Bucky waiting outside on a couch._   
>    
>  _“I hate you,” Stevie hisses._   
>    
>  _“You love me,” Bucky smiles._
> 
>  
> 
> Steve and Bucky go on a date.
> 
>  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because of the amazing feedback i received last chapter, I've been quick to edit. thanks for all the sweet comments, and constructive feedback is always welcome as well <3

They sit there for a long time, not saying much. Stevie still can’t believe that he’s finally able to communicate, to speak his mind and he chooses to say.

Nothing.

But it feels like Bucky understands. It feels like Bucky knows, even if he doesn’t.

His eyes squeeze together. Or maybe he’s just losing his mind. After all, Stevie has been just a cat all along. Just a cat. Bucky doesn’t remember his cat, why should he? How is Bucky supposed to understand all of this? What is it exactly Stevie expects him to know?

Perhaps, Bucky just misses someone to hold and to hold him. It’s fine. It’s alright for now.

Ugh. This brain. Maybe it’s because humans are made to live in socially constructed groups and cats have always been solitary predators that Bucky’s opinion suddenly means so much. Maybe this brain is making him sentimental. Making him feel self-doubting. Lacking. Insufficient. Maybe Stevie was never really good enough for Bucky.

”What’s wrong?” Bucky asks, pulling back a little. He looks frightened all of a sudden. ”You’re crying.”

Stevie frowns and then rolls his eyes. He has seen humans cry many times and always thought it was ridiculous. ”I don’t know,” Stevie lies, and Bucky reaches up with gentle hands and wipes the tears away. ”I’m really happy but I’m also very afraid at the same time.”

”Of what?” Bucky asks.

Stevie looks at him and then feels his eyes water again. He shrugs and says: ”I can finally reach out for you. I can finally talk with you. I’m finally not waiting for you anymore. But you’ve changed. And I’m afraid you don’t want me.”

Bucky shakes his head. ”It’s not like that.”

”You promise?” Stevie cringes right after he has said it. This human brain must really have gotten to his head. He knows about promises and he knows they exist for humans to break.

”I promise,” Bucky guarantees and a shaky grin, a poor reflection of the bright grin he used to have, appears on his face. “I… I don’t remember you, but you make me want to talk and… feel something besides miserable.”

Stevie smiles though he’s aware that’s not really the most romantic thing to say and Bucky puts his hands on Stevie’s cheeks, pushing their noses against each other and Stevie giggles.

“Get a room!” some human shouts at them. He holds a flask in a paper bag. His clothes are worn and smelly. He’s drunk.

Stevie looks away from him, and touches Bucky’s hair. “Go back to the Mansion now. Earn your freedom and come back to me when you’re ready.”

Bucky shakes his head, blue eyes flickering. “How do I know you’ll be here when I come back?”

Stevie pinches Bucky’s stubbed chin, and his nails leave half moons behind. “Don’t be silly. I’m always with you. Just not always like this.”

Bucky looks down and nods. Stevie doesn’t like the meek expression, so he leans in and kisses Bucky in-between the eyes. Bucky goes cross-eyed, the corner of his mouth lifting.

\-----

When Bucky has left Stevie leaves the clothes in the old bunker hidden in the tree section of the Mansion’s property and walks back into the ground with four legs.

Bucky is in the living room, and Natasha is yelling at him in her language. She sounds unforgiving, and harsh, and Bucky’s shoulders are slumped. So they knew he tried to run away.

Stevie runs into the living room, and twines her legs so much she’s too distracted to yell more at Bucky. She picks him up and he wriggles just to bother her, before pawing at her hair.

When she drops him, he runs over to Bucky and settles down on his lap.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky apologizes. “I was afraid.”

“Of what?” she asks, but she sounds astonished that he’s finally speaking.

Got there first, Romanoff, try again.

“That more people would get hurt,” Bucky sighs, and closes his eyes. “I didn’t want to drag you guys down with me, just because I helped out on a mission or two.”

She squints at him and sits down. “A mission or two? You helped us put down Project Inside. You helped us when Sokovia fucking dropped out of the sky, even though it was a suicide mission. Pietro would’ve been dead without you.”

Bucky looks down. “Only because I thought you were my handlers,” he says in a very small voice.

Something in Natasha’s face falls. She sighs. “I thought we told you – “

“You can’t just remove that many years of conditioning,” Bucky interrupts. “You of all people should know.”

Natasha nods and sighs. She sits down. “What has suddenly made you so talkative?”

Bucky shrugs, and his metal hand scratches Stevie behind his ears. “I met someone who knew my name.”

She scowls. “Winter.”

“James Barnes,” he says anyway. “He… She? Said my name was James Barnes.”

She slumps. “There are many James Barneses out there.”

“Promise me you’ll look into it?”

“Who told you?” she asks instead.

“Natasha,” he says in a husky voice, looking all sad and disappointed. ”It’s mine. You told me I was allowed to keep things.”

She blinks. “You are,” she gently agrees. “One last question.”

He looks up at her again.

“Why did you follow us?” she asks. “If you thought we were your handlers?”

A grimace flickers over his face. “Easy. You were good to me.” He gets up and leaves the room. “It can make a world of difference.”

\-----

The next day Bucky puts on a clean shirt and goes down to the kitchen early. Most of the Avengers are still exhausted from the mission the night before, and Bucky seems mockingly peppy. He makes a cup of coffee, and checks his reflection several times, before turning around and wringing his hands while looking at them.

He looks sheepish when they look up at him, and his hands move into his pockets and his eyes onto the floor. “Can I … go out?”

Most of them look surprised, but it’s Thor who says: “You need not to ask, my friend, your freedom is never questionable.”

Natasha talked with them then.

Bucky semi-jogs when he leaves the property, and Stevie is not slow to follow. He squeezes into the bunker and puts on the dress, beanie and boots in the darkness. He squeezes his way out again and thanks whatever made his human body so skinny. He’s not afraid of losing Bucky this time, so he heads towards the park in a relaxed pace.

Of course that only lasts until he reaches the crowded streets, and he arrives to the park feeling very harassed.

Bucky is scanning the crowd behind sunglasses and a cap, and as soon as he sees Stevie, Stevie picks up speed until he’s clashing into the guy. Bucky catches him with his arms and lifts him, and Stevie laughs, feeling the graceful swirl of the dress before Bucky puts him down again.

Bucky frowns, looking down at his dress. “It’s the same dress you had on yesterday.”

Stevie tilts his head, wondering if he should take this as the insult it sounds like. “No shit, Sherlock.”

The corners of Bucky’s mouth dips and Stevie’s heart sinks. “It’s dirty.”

Stevie doesn’t see why that’s a bad thing, but he knows he’s supposed to be offended, so he steps back. “It’s been lying in dirt. So what?”

“You’ve been lying in dirt?”

Since Stevie is sharing the bed with Bucky, sleeping on top of him, he defiantly says: “Yeah!”

Bucky looks even sadder, and then lights up. “Let me treat you,” he says and pulls his wallet out of his jacket. “Stark gave me a card. It can buy anything.”

“Anything?”

“Yeah.”

“Can you buy me tuna? I’m hungry.”

“Sure,” Bucky says compliantly, and then he does something confusing. He puts his arm around Stevie’s waist when they start walking.

Thankfully for Bucky, Stevie doesn’t mind the touch. Actually likes it quite a bit. He leans his head against Bucky’s shoulder, and people start to look weirdly at them.

One calls them fags. Another calls Stevie a tranny. He’s not quite sure what either of them means, but he doesn’t let it bother him. Humans like to annoy each other. That’s what happens when they’re cooped up together all the time.

They buy roasted fish from a street food vendor. They eat salmon and shrimp and onions grilled on sticks with some sweet marinade, and Stevie eats it hungrily and steals Bucky’s when he doesn’t eat it quickly enough.

Then Bucky takes Stevie to a store, but Stevie starts to doubt.

“I only wear clothes when I’m with you anyway,” he tries to beg off as Bucky pulls him in. It says Nordstrom and immediately a salesperson walks towards them.

“My name’s Anjali. Do you need help with anything?” the salesperson, a girl, asks with a fake smile on her face.

“Yes,” Bucky says, even as Stevie is pulling at his arm. “I would like some clothes for my partner.”

Anjali’s smile flickers for a second when her eyes rest on Stevie, before she nods and leads them towards the changing room. “What size do you use, ma’am?”

“I’m not sure,” Stevie answers, and tries to stomp on Bucky’s foot. Bucky swiftly avoids Stevie’s boot without even looking down.

Soon Stevie is pushed into a changing room with Bucky waiting outside on a couch.

“I hate you,” Stevie hisses.

“You love me,” Bucky smiles.

Anjali comes back and knocks and asks to come in so she can take Stevie’s measurements. Stevie pushes the beanie even further down, and rearranges his tail around his thigh, before letting her in in confusion, not really understanding what a measurement means and if that long bond is supposed to be a leash. She makes him stand in several odd poses, and tries really hard not to look at Stevie’s flat chest, even though he notices anyway.

She coughs when she’s done with the measurements and awkwardly asks: “Do you only want clothes from the lady section, Ma’am, or perhaps a bit from the men’s sections too?”

Before Stevie can answer, he can hear Bucky call out a defensive: “The lady section!”

She nods, blushes underneath her brown skin and asks Stevie about his preferences and what he is even looking for. Would you like more dresses? What colors do you prefer? Classic or urban? Stylish or comfortable? Practical and everyday wear or clothes for a night out?

Bucky seems to sense his panic, because he sends her out to get them some shoes and when she’s out in the store, looking for shoes, Stevie admits to Bucky that this is the only outfit he owns, which of course means that Stevie is leaving the store with three sets of pajamas, eight dresses, twenty pairs of socks, stockings and leggings, three tunics, fifteen pairs of underwear (“No bras”, Stevie had whined when she had managed to help him put on the heavily padded piece of torture, which female humans chose to wear for some reason that’d probably lead to their extinction), five skirts and four different jackets for four different sorts of weather and occasions. Anjali looks pleased with herself when they leave and it seemed like she’s enjoyed the lengthy process, since Stevie nor Bucky had any specific criteria and she got to use their money on whatever she thought looked the best. And she had a lot of thoughts about what looked the best.

It doesn’t escape Stevie’s notice that she has picked clothing which make him look like he has curves and which downplays his masculine features, few as they are.

For the first five minutes of their silent walk he feels helpless and cornered, mostly because there are many parts of his body Anjali knows better than he does, and also because he has no idea where to store all of this. He knows it will come in handy, so he can’t really throw it away. He must hide it in the bunker then, and make sure it doesn’t get dirty so Bucky won’t suspect his lack of home for his human body.

Bucky makes up for Stevie’s sour mood though. He buys him even more fish sticks, and they go to a diner to eat chicken wings and sweet potatoes.

Bucky doesn’t look exactly happy, instead rather satisfied and content to have kept himself occupied all day instead of staring at the walls. Stevie reaches over the table and pinches his cheek, grinning at him. Bucky steels a potato. Stevie scratches his hand, creating four angry lines on the back of his hand. Bucky doesn’t seem to notice.

“Where are you going after this?” Bucky asks.

“Home,” Stevie answers, full, as he sips at his diet cola. He wonders what a diet is.

Bucky looks down at him, appreciatively. “You look good in that dress. Did you have a nice time?”

Suddenly overcome with shyness Stevie picks at the cotton fabric of the dress. She wouldn’t let him leave in the navy dress, instead put it away in a bag for Stevie to wash later. Stevie knows how to groom himself, and the only encounter he had had with a washing machine was when he fell asleep on top of one because it was warm and a cleaning lady had turned it on without noticing his presence.

He had woken with a startle, and never neared the washing room again. And when the Starks had moved out, there hadn’t been any reason to go in there either, since it wasn’t warm anymore.

The dress is red, and flares around his hips, only reaching his knees. It has a round cleavage and is loose around his chest.

“Thank you,” Stevie says because it makes him warm to have been complemented. He’s literally becoming warm. He touches his cheeks, and they feel burning. “What is this?”

Bucky smiles crookedly. “A blush.”

Stevie nods thoughtfully.

“Let me follow you home,” Bucky suggests when Stevie doesn’t reply to his question, only eats the food on Bucky’s plate with gluttony. “We can go to the park afterwards.”

“No,” Stevie sullenly refuses. “You can’t come with me home now.”

“Why not?”

“Let’s go to the park now.”

“Why?”

“Park now,” Stevie repeats, louder.

Bucky rolls his eyes which he is doing too much of lately, and Stevie kicks his shin.

“Anything else, princess?” Bucky asks, sighs really, but sounding fond.

“Majesty,” Stevie corrects and kicks him again, because after all the Disney movies he and Tony used to watch together, he knows the difference.

In the park Stevie sits on Bucky’s lap and talks about the food at the diner, because Stevie can’t stop thinking about how good it had been.

“What’s your problem?” Stevie asks, elbowing Bucky while rubbing his scent glands into Bucky’s face. Being a human really is hard; without the fur, Stevie very quickly gets a beard burn. “You don’t like food?”

Bucky shrugs, looking at a hot dog vendor. “I probably should. I eat a lot. I have to.” He waves his hand. “HYDRA used to only give me protein shakes.”

Stevie frowns, remembering the big can of powder Clint keeps in his room, and which Lucky treats as a toy. “Shouldn’t you like food even more then?”

Bucky shrugs. Stevie points at the hot dog vendor. “Buy us a hot dog.”

Bucky lets himself be ordered around all day, teased and shoved and poked, and he answers to Stevie’s every whim with confident patience. The day ends when Stevie has finished chasing ducks around, and almost falls asleep on top of his human.

“Let me follow you home,” Bucky requests again, when the sun sets. “I promise, you don’t owe me anything.”

Stevie doesn’t know what in the world Bucky should owe him, because Stevie raised him and waited for him for 70 years, so if Bucky thinks Stevie owes him anything he’s an idiot and neither Stevie nor Winifred raised an idiot. “No,” Stevie petulantly says. “I’m fine. It’s only 7 bags.”

“You’re small.”

“I’m not small,” Stevie sleepily protests, digging his elbow into Bucky’s stomach.

Bucky smiles and gets up. “Then let me follow you to a place where you’re less likely to get mugged,” he suggests with a charming smile and Stevie hisses, but lets Bucky carry the bags into a mall with security guards.

“Go,” Stevie says in annoyance when Bucky keeps stalling from leaving. Stevie hasn’t slept all day, even though his biology craves it. Why aren’t humans nocturnal? Clearly a mistake from nature’s side.

“Goodbye,” Bucky says and bows down. He swiftly kisses Stevie on the lips, blushes and then retreats before Stevie has the time to say anything.

Stevie stares in the direction Bucky disappeared into in astonishment, and touches his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know, the changing room scene is such a cliché, but i couldn't resist.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein a lot of kissing is happening, Stevie and Bucky has a date on Coney Island and the Avengers act like parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check out the change in the tags. Check the end Author Note to know details.  
> Otherwise enjoy.

Stevie is staring into the thin air after Bucky has left. He knows what a kiss means, and what it entails. He’s simply befuddled. Does Bucky have him confused with a queen?

And then it dawns on him. Humans can be with a mate of their own sex. Is this what it is? Is Bucky displaying homosexual behavior? He never did before. But the Bucky he knew from before was a very different person. And as far as Stevie remembers, it had been wrong back then. Of course Bucky wouldn’t have acted on something that’d put him in a jail cell.

Stevie picks up the shopping bags, and wanders through the city. As expected, he’s both pushed and shoved and this time he scratches people in return, making them jump with a yelp and look suspiciously at his busy hands. When he arrives to the Mansion, he becomes unsure of how he should proceed, but decides to just go with it and transforms into a cat. It’s troublesome and hard labor to carry the bags into the bunker one by one – hands can really be more useful than paws – and feeling like there’s deadweight on his body, he walks to the Mansion. Bucky is training in the gym, so Stevie goes to his room and falls asleep on the bed.

He wakes up 3 am when Bucky is sneaking into the bedroom. Through Stevie’s daze he registers Bucky taking a shower, putting on his pajamas. He walks over to the bed, and carefully lies down in a strong C shape around Stevie’s round ball of fur. Stevie sits down and complains loudly.

Bucky groans. “Not now, cat.”

Stevie lays himself on Bucky’s face and Bucky blows a raspberry before gently pulling Stevie off. “Come on, someone hasn’t had the chance to sleep all day.”

Oh, fuck you, Barnes, who was sleeping? You brought this on yourself. Stevie spends a few minutes poking him, before giving it up and going to Clint’s room. Lucky is sleeping at the foot of the mattress, and Stevie feels gleefully excited about ruining his deep sleep. He curls together, body tightly buckled in tension before he launches. Lucky wakes with a snort and almost rolls off the bed.

  * _Go away, cat,_ Lucky whines. – _I’m tired. You’re waking my human._
  * _My human._
  * **_MY HUMAN.  
_**



And that’s how Clint wakes up with them wrestling on the bed.

“Lucky,” Clint groans. “Cat, you two, stop.”

Lucky huffs and Stevie is jumping around, provoking him.

“You,” Clint sternly says and looks at Stevie, who tilts his head. Clint sighs, stands up and picks Stevie up. Stevie wails in protest.

“Yeah, yeah, we’re playing tomorrow, alright, I’ll get you a toy or something, just not right now,” he scolds and lets go of Stevie outside the bedroom door, closing the door after him. Stevie considers yowling until the door is opened, but remembers that Clint has taken his hearing aids off, and he decides to drop it, even though he’d love to annoy Lucky some more.

Stevie scouts the bedroom section of the Mansion, trying to find an unlocked open door, but only Clint and Bucky let their doors be open because of Stevie and Lucky, and so he walks back to Bucky’s bedroom. He jumps onto the bed and Bucky has his eyes closed, but he’s awake? His nostrils are flaring. And he’s… humping? Shaking? Stevie soundlessly walks closer and sees that Bucky’s forehead is wrinkled, his eyes pinched together. The source of the shaking comes from his arm underneath the duvet. It’s moving back and forth and realizing that Bucky is jerking off, Stevie gets comfortable and watches. Sometimes, before the war, Bucky would jerk off at night, but it hadn’t piqued his interest back then. And Tony had always been so oversensitive about it, always kicked Stevie out before he did it.

But hey, Bucky kissed him, right? Stevie clearly needs to watch this to be sure of what’s coming for him. He needs to have some sort of idea how humans do it, since Bucky clearly wants to make a mate out of Stevie. Stevie needs to have some sort of advantage, so it’s not wrong of him to watch, right?

Bucky gasps and huffs as his moves become almost painfully frantic, and he comes with a blank face and a deep inhale. Stevie swirls his tail, and Bucky throws his duvet off with his metal hand and sticks his cupped hand out, the palm flooding with seed. He grabs tissues from the nightstand with his metal hand and wipes his dirty hand, before sitting up and jumping when he sees Stevie watching him.

He flushes, and Stevie would be grinning lewdly if this body’s muscles knew how, and Bucky almost runs to the bathroom. He turns the faucet on in there, and cleans himself before he walks back to the bed with slumped shoulders. He grunts as he throws himself down, and puts the duvet on.

“Next time, you knock!” he grumbles at Stevie, damn well knowing Stevie shouldn’t be able to understand him.

Stevie pats his face reassuringly and warms Bucky’s face with his stomach in affection.

\----

The morning after Natasha walks into the kitchen with a file holder. Thor is having black coffee, Wanda is looking through a magazine, Bruce is leafing a journal and Hawkeye is cleaning his arrows. Wanda and Bruce have been doing yoga in the morning together, and is sharing the same pot of tea. Stevie has noticed that the two of them have become close in their shared journey of finding internal peace. Tony and Pepper are in Malibu, handling some fella called the Mandarin. Bucky is frying bacon and pretending that he’s not sneaking Stevie bits of pieces. Stevie doesn’t mind the salty taste anymore. Is this what the humans call an acquired taste?

“There are many James Barneses,” she casually informs. “But I think your little bird is right, James.”

The Avengers look up, and Natasha pulls out a file. “James Buchanan Barnes,” she reads out loud. “Born in 1917. Father: George Barnes. Mother: Winifred Barnes. First born son, named after the 15th president of the States. You had three younger sisters. Rebecca, Jane and – “

“Mary,” Bucky completes absently. “Born after I left.” He looks at Natasha. “Where did I go?”

Natasha looks at him thoughtfully. “You know about the sibling you never met, but don’t know where you went?”

“They didn’t tell me,” Bucky says, slightly defensive. “They stayed behind. They didn’t know where I was going.”

Natasha lifts a brow, before continuing: “You were drafted in 1941. Quickly climbed ranks in basic and was promoted Sergeant. Was sent off with the 107th,” she licks her finger and leafs a page, “to Italy. Got captured by HYDRA on the front, was enslaved in their factory with 400 other soldiers. You took the punishment of a younger prisoner, and got pneumonia. Seeing that you were unable to work, HYDRA took you away and you were never seen again. In the 60’s, HYDRA’s base was finally taken back by the Italians, and it turns out the place you were taken to was Zola’s lab of human experimentation.”

She pulls loose something attached to the file. It’s a photo and she examines it and Bucky for a moment, before gently putting it on the table in front of him. “I’m positive that this is you.”

With shaking hands Bucky picks up the photograph, and there is Bucky. Grinning in amusement, cleaned up and in the uniform, cap tilted on his head.

“Congratulations, Winter!” Thor says, looking actually happy on Bucky’s behalf and claps Bucky’s back. “I apologize: Congratulations, James!”

“Your sisters are still alive,” Natasha continues. “Albeit in different nursing homes. Jane has problems with her vision and hearing, but otherwise they’re all pretty spry for their age.”

The corners of Bucky’s lips lift in a sad grimace, imitating a smile. He clears his throat, and picks up the pictures of his sisters, all in varying old ages. It really hits Stevie that this is how Bucky would look if he had stayed behind.

“Now,” Natasha firmly says. “You need to tell me about your leak.”

Bucky’s eyes flicker up. “I don’t know who they are. They came to me.”

“What is their name?” Clint asks.

Bucky shrugs. “I don’t know?”

“Male or female?” Natasha asks and then pauses: “Or some other gender?”

Bucky looks down. “I don’t know. They wear dresses. Have an Adams apple, and a deep voice. Looks like they’re in the beginning of their twenties in the face, but has the body of a kid. It’s very small, very skinny – it almost looks unhealthy. Fair, big blue eyes, blond hair, arched dark brows and long eyelashes. No freckles, but a lot of beauty marks on their body. ”

Natasha nods.

“Oh, and they’re not human, or at least, doesn’t usually have a human form,” Bucky adds, and her eyes widen now.

“What do you mean, James?” Wanda asks.

Bucky takes a deep breath. “They speak about humans like they’re not a part of us. They say they only need to wear clothes when they’re with me. They say…” He frowns and quickly scans the room. “That they’re always watching.”

“A ghost?” Clint suggests.

“A ghost wouldn’t need to wear clothes,” Natasha says and then looks at Thor: “Or?”

Thor merely shrugs. ”It’s more likely that our helper is a spirit. A ghost is a form of spirit, but a very unsettled, unnatural one. This doesn’t seem malicious in nature.”

Stevie isn’t sure about this. He doesn’t know if he likes Bucky talking about him, them talking about him, them being suspicious of him. He doesn’t know if he likes that they want to know what he is. He doesn’t know if he likes that he doesn’t know what he is either.

\-----

Two days later, Bucky tells them that he’s going on another date with Stevie to Coney Island. Stevie immediately leaves the house, puts on the red dress and walks to Nordstrom.

Stevie has had time to study the television, to learn more about what makes an attractable human mate, and this time Stevie wants to up his game, and so he finds Anjali and coughs loudly.

She jumps a little bit and then turns around. Her smile is professional and when she recognizes him, it becomes more relaxed. “Oh, hello, Ma’am. Is there a problem with your purchases?”

Stevie tilts his head. “No. Anjali, right?”

“Yes.” Her eyes flicker down at his dress. “I never… I never got around to asking your preferred pronouns?” she insecurely asks.

He waves his small hand. “I personally don’t care what you people want to call me. But I need you to make me pretty, before my date.”

Her brows lift. “How do you want to pretty?” she carefully asks.

“I don’t know. Prettier. Hair. People have high thoughts of hair, right?”

“Yeah, but it’s limited what we can do, since it’s so short,” she tells him, and starts leading Stevie over to a division full of cosmetics. “You want to put makeup on?”

“Will it make me look pretty?” Stevie asks.

“You already are,” she says, her smile small and kind.

She finds a coworker whom she briefly talks with some distance away, where they think he can’t hear them (“Look, don’t try to sell her stuff, alright? I’m not sure she’s very receptive.” “What, does she expect a full makeover for free?” “Her boyfriend almost bought the whole store last time she was here. I’m sure if you do your job, she’ll make him buy whatever she wants.” “Fine. But I’m remembering this.” “Remember it as long as you want, Josephine.”) and Stevie’s put down in a chair.

The red-haired coworker asks short, chipped questions, her body language and voice proclaiming rejection and it doesn’t help that Stevie has no idea how to answer. Is his skin dry? Does he want the bronzed look? Does he want contour to enhance or hide his masculine features? He doesn’t care, and tells her to do whatever she wants.

When he steps out of the store, he feels like there is ten pounds of makeup on his face. She has done something to his face, which makes it look almost ethereal. His features look more delicate, nose smaller, eyelids bigger, and his cheekbones rounder. His eyes seem bigger and bluer, his skin is glowing yet milky, his cheeks are flushed in the color of dusty roses and his lips look like he’s anemic but has been eating blood red strawberries without wiping his mouth afterwards. With other words, he is a formidable mate. He’s adapting, integrating, performing whatever human mating rituals these crazy primates came up with. Bucky is lucky he has him.

He meets up with Bucky in the park, and Bucky looks at him, like he should’ve when Stevie brought him three rats in one go as a kid.

He immediately hugs Stevie, folding his strong arms around him, and kissing Stevie’s forehead. Stevie smiles up at him and lets himself be smooched. They start walking towards the subway, their arms interlaced and in comfortable silence.

“You don’t think this is going too fast?” Bucky asks, when he has paid the fare.

“How?” Stevie asks.

“I don’t know,” Bucky says, his grin big and crooked.

Stevie shoves him. “We’re going to Coney Island. What could happen?”

Bucky’s eyes widen. Stevie nudges him and kisses his jaw.

“Your lips look bee stung,” Bucky says, looking dazed. “I need more of them.”

Stevie meets his eyes, and leans in, but not quite daring to kiss his human’s lips. What if he did it wrong? Bucky’s arm wraps around Stevie’s waist and pulls Stevie in even further. Stevie looks down and Bucky glances his lips over Stevie’s cheekbone until Stevie looks up at him again and meets his eyes.

Bucky puts a crooked finger right underneath Stevie’s chin and lifts it gently. Stevie’s eyes slide closed and soft lips press against his. Stevie mirrors the motion and they hold still like that, they lips stuck together. It’s a weird, unnecessary mating ritual, but it feels nice somehow. Warm. Bucky smells really good. His cologne is mixing in fabulously with his pheromones. Bucky pulls back and Stevie opens his eyes to see Bucky look searchingly at him, before smiling and cupping his gloved hand on Stevie’s jaw. Stevie’s lips meet his again, and this time the kissing isn’t careful. It’s curious and affectionate, until they eventually forgo the insecurities and make the kiss a little deeper.

Then there’s a child asking their mother a question in Spanish, and Stevie doesn’t understand, doesn’t care either, but Bucky pulls back as the mother answers. He looks almost scared for a second, and Stevie looks at him, not understanding, but Bucky just adopts a grim expression and puts his arm around Stevie’s neck instead of waist as he leans back on the seats.

When they arrive to Coney Island, all is good again. Bucky holds his hand, and they walk through the masses. Without having been asked to, Bucky buys him food and they enjoy it on a bench on the boardwalk, before they walk to the first rollercoaster, the Cyclone. Now, Stevie is not afraid of heights, but he’s not going to test the 9 lives theory too much.

But Bucky is determined to drag Stevie up there, so he eventually gets Stevie onto a ride and then they’re flying. Stevie doesn’t scream – somewhere in there his pride thanks him – only sinks his nails into Bucky’s arm. Bucky is laughing though he doesn’t look so jolted as any of the other riders – Stevie included – and when they come down, Stevie’s legs are shaking so much he can’t stand.

“Oh, come on, it wasn’t that bad,” Bucky coos, rubbing Stevie’s back as he sits down in the middle of everything, right beside Stevie. “Alright, you look green. Do you need to throw up?”

Stevie shakes his head, his lips pinched together. His tears have smeared his mascara and he indignantly hits Bucky. “You ruined my makeup.”

“I’m sorry, Stevie,” Bucky says, smiling still, but quietly now. He puts his arm around Stevie’s shoulders, and kisses Stevie’s temple. Stevie likes being kissed. It makes him feel loved. Coddled. Like Bucky is really here and he’s going to stay this time.

The next thing they go to is the Wonder Wheel. Stevie still doesn’t like heights, but this is definitely better than the Cyclone. Everything looks so small and inconsequential down there. Stevie starts to wonder why he was ever afraid or worried about anything, because the sun is starting to go down and Bucky is still holding his hand and Stevie is leaning against his chest. Some of Stevie’s makeup has smudged onto Bucky’s jacket, but Stevie’s face still looks pretty so it’s alright. They’re quiet.

Bucky puts a soft hand on Stevie’s knee. Stevie looks up at him, and Bucky’s other hand is sliding down Stevie’s arm.

“Sorry,” Bucky says and pulls back reluctantly. “I can’t keep my hands off you.”

“Then don’t,” Stevie says, and gets up to place himself on Bucky’s lap. He cuddles his thighs around Bucky’s waist. His skirt rides up around his hips. He wraps his arms around Bucky’s neck, and kisses him.

Bucky sighs and kisses Stevie’s brow and the peak of his cheekbone and Stevie exhales sharply as Bucky makes way down to his mouth. Buck’s hands are enclosed around Stevie’s narrow hips, his thumbs rubbing circles into Stevie’s hipbones. It feels nice, and something in Stevie’s stomach, in the bottom of his spine, starts to tinkle.

There’s the feeling of Bucky’s tongue gently prodding at Stevie’s lips and Stevie opens his mouth, lets Bucky in, and he tastes good, like candy floss and diet soda. Their kiss deepens, one of Bucky’s hands reach up to stroke Stevie’s bangs away from his eyes and Stevie’s head tilts back. Bucky takes it as an invitation to flutter small butterfly kisses down his neck.

And then Bucky’s hand goes towards his ear, and Stevie’s hand flies up to grasp around his wrist.

Bucky pulls back. “Is something wrong?”

“Don’t move the hat or touch my ears,” Stevie says. “I don’t like it.”

“Alright,” Bucky complies, looking confused, and Stevie lets go. Bucky continues to kiss down Stevie’s neck, towards Steve’s collarbones. His hands are now both on Stevie’s thighs, and Stevie can’t help, but lifts his hips and move a little restlessly. He’s becoming hard underneath the dress. Bucky’s lips stop on the bottom of the dress’ cleavage. Stevie sighs.

When they come down, Stevie feels dizzy. There's a parade going on down there, playing loud music and the big lights have started turning on in all sorts of colors. There's so many people, the scents and smells and bodies are overwhelming, but Stevie feels like it's just the two of them. He has a big lollipop in his hand, sticky and turning his fingers blue. Bucky playfully makes him do a turn, and Stevie laughs, his dress swirling and looking like a poppy opening up.

\----

“What do you mean you didn’t collect any information?” Natasha asks, turning her face away from her Widow Bites, and looking at Bucky. It’s dark outside, and the Avengers have turned on all the small lamps in the living room. The radio is crooning a soft tune. 

Clint directs an accusing stare at Bucky as well. His hearing aids are not on, so he probably just does it because Natasha was doing it.

She scans Bucky up and down. “Have you been making out with the leak?” she slowly asks, but her tone indicates that she already knows the answer.

Bucky’s hand goes up and wipes at his mouth, even though there’s nothing there.

“ _Ara_ , so you have been!” Natasha exclaims, looking stressed and giddy at the same time.

“Is that a good idea?” Bruce asks in concern, taking off his glasses and squinting at Bucky, who looks more and more embarrassed about the scrutinizing. “We don’t know who or what the leak is.”

“Let James enjoy his freedom,” Thor intervenes. “After all, he deserved it after his struggles.”

“We don’t know if the leak is a fraud or not,” Wanda counters. “Or if the leak is what is best for him.”

“Come on, I just want to go up to my room,” Bucky groans. “I will tell you tomorrow, alright?”

Natasha turns and starts signing to Clint, and Clint’s eyes widen as well. He looks judgmentally at Bucky. 

“Tomorrow,” Natasha ominously says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve being a cat, and not really having adopted too much human courtesy, openly watches Bucky jack off in his cat form, with Bucky being unaware.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint’s face is grim as he works. “You two talked?” he asks once.
> 
> “Yes,” Stevie confirms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick and easy update. A rather sad chapter. Please check the belated change in tags.  
> As always, unbetaed, so please let me know about the mistakes!

So naturally, with Stevie being 1) outnumbered 2) ignorant and 3) really bad at being human, he decides he needs to do some investigation about the Avengers, so that when the day they realize who and what he is, comes, he is ready for them.

He starts with Tony, since he’s the person he knows the most of them. He goes to the library and learns how to use the computer by staring down other visitors and then at the librarian until she comes to help. He googles Tony Stark.

Tony discarded the weapon section of Stark Industries four years after he inherited the company from his father. Apparently his father had always wanted to make the switch from weapon dealing to clean energy, but didn’t have time to get around to it before his death, and Tony had wanted to fulfill his old man’s wishes. He added, on top of that, that it wasn’t WW2 anymore and that America didn’t play the same role in warfare as they used to.

Apparently that had been a very political statement, an indirect way of saying that America wasn’t the good guy anymore, and neither of the Starks wanted to help it along anymore.

The drastic life change to become a better person and the consequences that followed apparently resulted in a long history of alcoholism and suspected drug abuse. Apparently he had cleaned up his act to pursue his CEO because “an alcoholic playboy with daddy issues is so not in anymore. It’s all about political correctness now” and then gotten involved with SSR, which got him involved with the Avengers Initiative. He isn’t an Avenger as Stevie had thought he was; he is their major sponsor.

The Avengers Initiative started out with SSR’s top two agents, Hawkeye and Black Widow. Widow, known for her excellent spy and assassination abilities, was later discovered to have been trained and “conditioned” by the Red Room, and having worked for the KGB. She’s the best Black Widow there has been on record and the only survivor of the Black Widow program on top of that. That one of Russia’s best trained people left for the States had not only been beneficial – it had made America gloat in a malignant way.

Hawkeye, having gotten his skills at a literal circus and recruited by agent Phil Coulson, is an unbelievably good archer, even better at shooting a target than SSR’s best marksman, and an excellent agent on top of that. There are a lot of scandals concerning him being brainwashed by someone named Loki. It had all calmed down for a bit, until the SSR leak where his psych evaluations had stepped into the light. It turns out that Hawkeye is one tough son of a bitch. Domestic abuse had been so bad in his family that he and his brother had ended up running away to said circus. Child labor and no school had been their everyday life, until Clint’s brother had gotten locked up. He had run into Phil Coulson during one of SSR’s missions, and Clint had spontaneously saved a pregnant woman from an explosion, and lost most of his hearing in the process. Through SSR’s insurance program Coulson had found out about Clint’s formidable skills, and taken the then young man under his wing.

The story about Thor is weird, and Stevie is too lazy to try figure it out. It involves a lot of myths and ancient beliefs in “gods” who turns out to just have been aliens all along. There’s a jealous brother involved, the Loki fella who fried Barton’s brains and tried to take over the world on top of that. It’s too complicated for Steve to follow. He only takes note that Thor is pretty much immortal, that you shouldn’t mess with his family and that he’s staying on Earth because of his romantic relationship with astrophysicist Jane Foster. Because of the actions of his lousy brother, Thor swore to protect humanity, thus earning him a spot on the Avenger’s roster.

Wanda and Pietro Maximoff, twins and children of a Romani woman and a Jewish father, were so pissed about their government, that they volunteered for a program that would enhance their mutant abilities further. Someone called Strucker, who turned out to be a Nazi, directed the program, which is quite ironic. Wanda wanted to stick to the superhero business, but Pietro was too restless and needed “to find peace with himself” as Wanda had phrased it in an interview.

During that whole thing Vision showed up. He originated from JARVIS, a sentient AI Tony created decades ago, and he upgraded because of… Wait. What? Vision has many parents: Thor, Bruce, Helen Cho, Ultron and Tony? Stevie has got to have that explained to have at some point. But he’s not going to deal with it now, it’s far too complicated for him to bother.

There is another member of the team, but he’s on the backup roster. His name is Rhodey and he’s apparently the representative of the Avengers and a diplomat of the Army towards the Avengers. He has one foot on both sides, but mostly works for the Airforce.

And at last Bucky whose story Stevie already knows and therefore skips.

He leaves the library feeling enlightened and goes back to the Mansion. Not seeing anyone around, he stays in his human form and climbs up a tree. He finds a patch where the sunrays can come through the tree crown, and lies down. He feels a little paranoid about it, since he was ambushed the last time he fell asleep out here, but in the end the promise of warmth makes him fall asleep.

He wakes up at the sound of hundreds of footsteps and internally groans. Not again. For fuck’s sake.

This time Stevie is prepared though. He knows the Avengers don’t need his help, and so he finds Lucky and leads him away from the ruckus down to the bunker, before Lucky can realize what’s going on.

  * _MY HUMAN,_ Lucky barks, fighting with Stevie to get back to the hatch when he realizes what Stevie has done.
  * _You’ll only be in the way,_ Stevie snaps. – _We need to stay here, so they know we won’t get hurt._
  * _You’re WRONG! We’re here to protect them!_



“No, Lucky,” Stevie shouts. “We’re here, so they can love us. Do you understand?”

He hugs his skinny arms around Lucky’s neck and Lucky scoffs and whines.

  * _I don’t understand,_ Lucky says. – _I don’t understand._
  * _Humans are so full of love, but they have nowhere to put it. Not all of it has got a home,_ Stevie explains. – _That’s why we’re here and if we get hurt, it’ll only hurt them. Don’t you recall how bad Clint felt when you lost your eye? Got beat up and thrown into the traffic? Got shot?_
  * _I don’t care._
  * _We have to. If they lose us, where is all of their love going to go? Love without a home is just sorrow._



Lucky whines some more, but it helps to be in a human form. It settles him, and Lucky doesn’t like that. Stevie holds him, rubs him and strokes him, until Lucky stops whining, but their pairs of ears are still tracking the sounds coming from the Mansion.

Finally it is silent and Stevie puts on a white dress, before opening the hatch to check if the coast is clear. Immediately Lucky shoots through (It’s the first time Stevie actually _hates his size_ ) and Stevie screams at the abruptly disappearing figure. Enraged he climbs out and follows him on his bare feet, only to see that the whole western wing of the Mansion is burning. He can hear Lucky barking somewhere and runs towards the sound and smell.

He can’t hear any of the Avengers but Lucky’s call for his human is loud. Too loud. Too obvious.

“Lucky!” Clint shouts and the sound of bullets follows. Lucky yelps and then whines. Stevie’s heart is beating even faster. Why are human legs so slow? Why do humans only use two to run? Dammit.

“I found it!” someone yells through the smoke and Stevie quickly drops back into the shadows. The lights are off in the Mansion, the explosion having busted them and the windows are few and small, leaving only a few sunrays and fire to light the insides up. He can’t see Natasha or Clint, but he can smell them nearby. Bucky is on the roof, probably. Bruce is probably in the panic room because losing his cool in the middle of Manhattan is a higher cost than losing the Mansion, which leaves Wanda and Vision somewhere Stevie doesn’t know.

Lucky is on the floor in the middle of the kitchen floor, close to the broken kitchen table, whining and whimpering. There are two holes in the front part of his chest, two stumps of bones sticking out in each of them. Where his front legs should’ve been. There’s a dark figure hovering over Lucky.

Stevie is getting so familiar with the smell of HYDRA agents, and he can’t help but sneer.

Clint stands up in the perimeter of Stevie’s view, aiming an arrow and a HYDRA shooter, who’s hiding behind the kitchen counter, takes aim at his vulnerable figure. There’s no time to think; Stevie springs at the HYDRA agent touching his dog.

His claws extend and rip through the Kevlar of his body armor, and Stevie easily cuts his throat. He has drawn attention to himself though, and he feels the by now familiar bite of a bullet shooting through his arm. The shot is off though, and it turns out Clint took down the shooter while Stevie did his business.

“You morons!” he hears a foreign voice roar somewhere. “It wasn’t a dog, it was a fucking cat!”

Stevie ignores the exchange, lifts Lucky up and runs to Natasha and Clint’s sides, just as he hears more HYDRA agents come in from the lobby. They step aside, and he carefully puts Lucky down.

“You stupid dog,” Stevie whispers, burying his face in the bloodstained blond fur, and when that isn’t enough, he curses: “You stupid fucking dog.”

He hears a rustle, and immediately he rolls them aside, avoiding another bullet.

He snaps: “Bring him to safety, I’ll take care of it!” at the humans, before he runs towards the perpetrator, standing at the doorway of the kitchen. He quickly tackles him to floor before the agent can shoot again and rips his neckpiece up with his claws, before biting down on his pulse. The man screams, and blood squirts into Stevie’s mouth. As the taste of blood ebs down, he realizes that someone is tasing him and that it is every unpleasant. Stevie kicks out and hits him so hard that he feels the assailant’s neck crack. The assailant silently falls down, and the man Stevie has climbed on top of is falling down as well.

More are coming and everything is happening so quickly. He jumps and kills and jumps and kills, and he understands his advantages: his instincts make him act and fight quicker. He’s small, therefore easy to miss, agile and flexible, yet strong. He springs and takes them down like a vulture, too quick for them to properly register. His hands and mouth are wet with blood.

When he’s done and he has about one minute of breathing, before five footmen will come down from the roof to take him on, he looks around. Clint and Natasha has made way through the fire and rubble. He waits for them, before he leads them away from the kitchen and into the hallway leading to the lobby. From the lobby, they can go outside. HYDRA will probably be waiting for them out there, but as far as Stevie knows, Bucky has them occupied and is making it very hard for them to leave.

He whips around and orders: “Back me up, and I’ll do the main attack.”

He breaks into a run, because it’s now or never and he might as well take them sooner. Three agents have already sneaked inside, hiding in corners and in the shadows. He takes one down, and hears the two other drop down behind him. No one sneaks up on him again; Clint and Natasha picks them off before they dare to shoot or hit.  

Finally he gets outside. Two snipers are on the ground, hiding behind the trees. They’re aiming at Bucky, who’s surrounded on the roof by ten footmen engaging him in hand-to-hand combat, while two shooters are taking cover behind the chimneys, trying their best to take him down as soon as he’s clear of the footmen. The four shooters and snipers are trying to take him down from both the north and southern sides.

Stevie zig-zags towards the snipers, and dropping down to his fours to make a more efficient inlet, he launches himself on them. They go down surprised and unknowing and when Stevie comes back, Natasha and Clint are already picking off the footmen bothering Bucky on the roof with arrows and bullets.

Stevie holds his breath, does another inlet, and jumps. He grabs a flagpole hanging out of the wall, jumps again and hooks himself to the edges of a windowsill on the third floor. He jumps again and flies directly into one of the footmen. He wrestles with him for a moment, before breaking his neck with his hands.

“Stevie!” Bucky calls out and Stevie smiles crookedly at him, before running over to finish off the shooters behind the chimneys. When he comes back, there are no more footmen on the roof.

Stevie blinks quickly, realizing that blood is dripping down from his scalp. Now that he pauses to take in the pain, he realizes that it’s throbbing with pain and the warm blood rolling down his face is his own. He is, in fact, not as uninjured as he thought he was. He has difficulties breathing. Stevie heaves, and tastes blood in his mouth. He spits it out, and clenches his bleeding black and blue arm.

Bucky looks at lot better than him, though he has sweated through his T-shirt.

Stevie looks at him, stumbles, and then remembers Lucky. He goes to the edge of the roof, jumps and lands on his fours, even though Bucky is yelling at him.

Outside Stevie starts to hear Wanda scream in pain, but the rest of the Avengers need something to do anyway, and all he can think about is Lucky. Dogs don’t heal as well as humans do. Dogs don’t survive two holes in their chest.

Stevie walks through the fire, and ends up finding Lucky in the scullery, because the window outside is opened, and the metal door is locked shut, so at least Clint knew Lucky would be safe in here.

  * _Stevie,_ Lucky calls out weakly. – _Is my human safe?_
  * _Your human is fine, my friend,_ Stevie reassuringly answers and sits down with a wince, digging his hand into Lucky’s back fur. As some point Clint had time to wrap Lucky’s chest up with some kitchen rags.
  * _Oh, so we’re friends now, huh?_ Lucky asks, but his energy isn’t in it.
  * _I become sentimental in this form,_ Stevie answers. _– Human brains are too advanced emotionally._
  * _Don’t get too cocky, you’re still an old stupid cat inside,_ Lucky answers. _They’re not advanced enough to keep you in one piece. You look worse for wear._
  * _You don’t look any better, dog._



Steve lies down and puts his whole arm around him, meeting Lucky’s brown eyes. – _This old stupid cat has lost too many companions already, dog._

  * _It’s natural to die, cat._
  * _Obviously not to me._



Lucky becomes colder and colder and Stevie huddles closer to try and keep the warmth in him.

  * _Take care of him, will you?_
  * _Don’t talk like that._
  * _He’s still my human though._



“Stevie,” Bucky calls out, his face black with smoke and ash, standing in the door.

“Get him to the pet hospital,” Stevie chokes out and sits up. He realizes that he is sobbing now that he is talking out loud.

“He’s an old dog, Stevie,” Bucky reminds him, sounding tired.

“And I’m an old cat!” Stevie hysterically sobs and screams at the same time.

Clint shows up behind Bucky, trying to get through but Bucky holds him back. Lucky’s tail is barely wagging.

“I hate you!” Stevie screams at him. “Fuck off! If your life is so dangerous, don’t get a dog! How dare you use him like that and be so irresponsible to let him die like this.”

“Stevie – “ Bucky begins.

“No,” Stevie quietly cries, lying down again to embrace the dog. “All he did was love you. All he wanted was to protect you.”

 _\- Goodbye, my friend,_ Lucky exhales.

Lucky’s heart stops beating underneath his fur.

Stevie weeps. “All we ever did was loving you. All we ever did was loving you.”

\-----

Lucky is buried in the front garden. Stevie lies on the grass, unwilling to move, while Clint uses the shovel.

Clint’s face is grim as he works. “You two talked?” he asks once.

“Yes,” Stevie confirms.

Clint eventually leaves, and Stevie lies down on the fresh earth and closes his eyes.

He wakes up when he hears someone come nearer.

“It’s going to start raining soon,” Bucky says, and Stevie doesn’t want to hear him. He’s angry. He’s angry that Lucky is dead and angry with Clint and even angrier at Bucky and he doesn’t know why.

“Go,” he whispers.

“You can’t –“

“Go!” Stevie roars, and Bucky flinches before leaving him.

It does start to rain, and the congealed blood starts to fade and wash away from Stevie’s hair, skin and dress. It seeps into the earth. The blood of Lucky’s killers. Stevie’s blood.

Stevie hopes that it’s enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the moment you look away from your computer screen and down at your keyboard and the cursor is judging you, and you realize that you're THAT writer.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Huh,” Stevie says, tilting his head. “That’s why you threw a bottle at me.”
> 
> Tony flinches. “Sorry.”
> 
> “It’s alright,” Stevie shrugs. “It’s a long time ago now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, been re-writing and deleting a coupla times, because I wasn't satisfied with how it came out.

At some point Stevie realizes that Bucky isn’t coming for him, and even though he wouldn’t have wanted to be retrieved in case Bucky tried, he rises out of spite and gets up from the dirt. He’s dripping, ice cold and feeling pale as a cloud as he walks towards the house. It’s empty, is the first thing he notices, but he knows Bucky isn’t cleared for non-emergency missions yet, so Stevie ascends the stairs. He can’t feel his feet, and feels like he’s floating. Bucky is standing at the top of the stairways. He meets Stevie’s eyes and then nods him ahead. Stevie follows, and Bucky leads him into the bathroom.

He helps Stevie undress, and in no scenario did Stevie imagine this scene, this anxiously anticipated scene, to be so awkward. He helps Stevie into the tub, and scrubs him until Stevie is somewhat clean, his skin flushing as his blood starts to rush, before drawing Stevie a bath. Stevie looks at him, his eyes hungry, starving, and Bucky meets his eyes, making no movements.

Stevie is floating, the water reaching his chin.

“I didn’t understand why you were leaving,” Stevie then says, his voice shaking.

Bucky looks down at him, and then looks down at his metal hand. “Do you know now?” He clears his throat. “You lived with my parents, Dum-Dum, and Howard. You should’ve…”

Stevie’s head is throbbing. “I bet things are different now. For you. About us.”

He can feel Bucky stare at him. “How can they not be?”

Stevie smiles. “That’s what I gathered.”

“But…” Bucky looks at him with calculating eyes for a moment, before he almost soothingly says: “You never lied, except that part where you slept on dirt.”

Stevie shrugs. “I didn’t lie.”

“But you sleep on me.”

“… case in point?”

Bucky sighs. “Punk.”

“Jerk.”

Bucky picks up a shampoo and squirts some in Stevie’s hair, rubbing it into his scalp. “Were you awake?” he clears his throat. “For all of it?”

Stevie turns around to look at him, but gets shampoo in his eyes and yelps, flailing with his arms. Bucky says: “Calm down!” And uses the shower head to wash away the shampoo. Stevie snorts loudly, feeling attacked and insulted and when he lashes out in Bucky’s general direction. Bucky chuckles and hoses Stevie in the face. Stevie sputters and uses his arms as shields.

“This is terrible,” Stevie heaves, dripping all over. “I’m never bathing again.”

“In this form you are,” Bucky counteracts, and he almost looks like he’s about to smile. Stevie reaches out and touches Bucky’s lips, trying to get that smile to come out. It doesn’t do that. It does the opposite.

Bucky turns away and gets the conditioner. Stevie doesn’t want Bucky to wash him if it’s going to be like that, so he takes the conditioner from his hands and rubs it on himself. He hoses away the product, and gets up from the tub, nearly slipping down. Bucky grabs him in time, and wraps him in a towel. They go to his room, and Bucky looks at his closet and then at Stevie. “Do you mind…? I don’t have anything else, and I don’t want to steel from

Wanda or Natasha...”

Stevie shrugs, and Bucky gives him a T-shirt with too long sleeves, the seam reaching Stevie’s knees. The underwear is new and still too big, and Stevie goes to the bed, flopping down on it and closing his eyes.

“You don’t love me anymore,” he whispers, afraid that Bucky won’t hear him and afraid Bucky will hear him. He turns his head and rubs his scent glands into the bed.

“Who says I ever loved you?” Bucky asks.

Stevie glares. “I wouldn’t be with you for anything less than love.”

Bucky’s eyes fall down, and he walks over to the other side of the bed, sits down on it. “It takes time to get used to. You’re not who I thought you were.”

Stevie stares at him. “I’ve waited 70 years for you and you want me to wait until you’ve overcome your sensibilities?”

“That’s not – “

“Then tell me!” Stevie yells and sits up. “I didn’t ask to become this way! To age and just stop. To become wiser and still know less. I didn’t ask to always be standing where you left me, always waiting for you, but here I am anyway, and you want me to wait for you dealing with something I haven’t even dealt with myself? How great do you think you are?”

“You’re not the only one who came back different after all that time, Stevie!” Bucky yells.

“But I let you come as you are, didn’t I?” Stevie asks, and his voice cracks. “I took my time learning your new habits. Sniffed and inspected every little scar, scented you, made you mine even when you smelled like gunpowder and war, I fed you and kept you warm when you were screaming through the night, and you’re telling me that a tail and some cat ears are giving you cold feet?”

“Don’t you guilt me for not knowing what’s right,” Bucky says, his voice sounding choked.

“I am right!” Steve bellows. “I’m the only right thing in your life and you’re throwing me away!”

“I never said …” Dejection anguishes Bucky’s face. He doesn’t end the sentence.

Stevie can feel his heart breaking in his chest, and he rises from the bed, and feels his vision blurry as he stomps his way to the door.

\----

Stevie shrugs off the shirt as he runs down the stairs, slides off the underwear when he gets to the foyer and when he’s out on the grass, he’s on four legs and his fur protects him from the cool morning.

\---

Stevie doesn’t know where to go, so he goes to Harlem and finds Sam. Sam has been the guardian cat of the Bradley-family since the 60’s, and his family has given up on figuring out how such an old cat can be so healthy and agile.

Stevie prowls in front of the door, waiting for permission to come in, even though the window is open. Because this is where Sam’s territory starts, and truly enough Sam’s black-brown head pokes out of the window, evaluating him with yellow eyes.

  * _I don’t have anywhere to go,_ Stevie admits, because he’s straightforward like that and he doesn’t ask cats to wait for something that’ll never happen.
  * _Come in,_ Sam calls out and Stevie jumps up on the window sill. He squeezes through and is let into a green room with cartoon figures on the walls, and mountain of toys.



A small child, around 5 years old, is playing on the floor. Sam sits on the window sill, his eyes sharp and constant on the child.

  * _They grow up so fast_ , Sam notices. _– One day, poof, they’re big and ready to go to the next big war waiting for them._



Stevie knows Sam’s first owner was Isaiah Bradley, a soldier who fought in the same war as Bucky. His daughter, Sarah, was an agent in the Vietnam War, and now it will soon be Elijah fighting for his country. It appears the Americans became tired of Europe and East-Asia and moved their warfare to the Middle East.

  * _Are you alright?_ Sam asks, because he’s always been more caring, warmer, than most cats. – _I heard from Maria that your first human returned from the war. The long wait wasn’t for nothing, I suppose._



Maria, the Norwegian forest cat of Nick Fury, recently moved in with Stevie when her human had gotten assassinated. As soon as she had received word that the bastard wasn’t really dead, she had run off with murder in her eyes and he hadn’t heard from her since.

Stevie slumps down. – _I’m so tired._

  * _You should be._
  * _How many times have you transformed into a human?_ Steve isn’t in doubt that Sam can. Stevie’s vow was to wait, and that didn’t require him to transform before. But Sam and Maria’s vows are to protect. Protect SSR in Maria’s case and protect the Bradley-family in Sam’s.
  * _A coupla times,_ Sam admits. _– When the kids were in danger._



Funny, how it’s always the kids they end up killing for.

“Kitty,” Elijah screeches when he finally looks up from his trucks and sees Stevie. “Kitty cat!”

Stevie jumps down from the windowsill, and lets himself be clumsily petted by sticky hands.

\----

Stevie dreams, of Bucky sleeping in a tub full of cold water with a mouth guard in his mouth. It’s preventing him from breaking his own teeth, but it doesn’t attenuate the screaming when Stevie pushes the radio into the tub. He dreams, of Tony crying in the car, on his way to Bucky’s funeral.

He dreams, of lying in a bed in a tiny fragile body, his glands swollen, his skin feverish, his throat sore. His skin is covered in pink-red powder, stuck to his skin like glue, feeling like sandpaper.

He is dying. But he is not afraid. There’s a boy crying outside the door. Wailing. Calling out Stevie’s name. The boy can’t come in, Stevie knows. He’ll just get sick too. He will be infected with the rash too, and he’ll suffer Stevie’s fate.

“We’ll be friends forever,” the boy sobs as a low, shushing voice tries to get Bucky away from the door. “I’ll never forget you.”

Stevie wants to tell Bucky not to be afraid. They’ll see each other soon. Stevie doesn’t know how, he just knows that they will.

“But mommy, I wanna keep it!” Elijah wails and Stevie jumps awake.

“Baby, it probably has got lice and flees,” Sarah shushes him, but when she looks at Stevie, he knows she’s not going to throw him out.

\----

Days at Sam’s are long and relaxed. No HYDRA-attacks, no former brainwashed assassins suffering flashbacks. No Thor electrocuting stuff, or the smell of Banner’s horrible tea. Or of Bucky’s soundless footsteps roaming the halls like a ghost.

The kids are terrible, but kids are always terrible. Elijah has two older sisters, and their mother taught them manners well. They never pull Stevie’s tail, and the worst thing that happens is Stevie and Sam getting dressed with paper crowns and fuzzy red gowns. Sam is used to the routine, and relaxed he lets the children animate him. And well. Now Stevie as well.

And then one day, there’s a knock on the door and Stevie, who’s napping on the windowsill, hears a voice he will always find dear.

“Hello, ma’am,” Tony Stark greets Sarah with a charming smile, lowering his sunglasses. “Excuse my manners, but can you let me in? I’m pretty sure your neighbors saw me, and journalists are bored these days.”

Sarah is surprised, but not as flabbergasted as Tony Stark clearly expects her to be. “Unless you have real business in here you’re going to stay out there, pal. I ain’t interested in no Stark barging into my home, making me and my kids targets.”

Tony looks at her, his eyes pinching together, and then he groans, tilting his shoulder. “Actually, I do have the right to come in here. If you won’t let me in, I can sue you for kidnapping, so…”

This makes Sam jump down on the floor, and walk to her feet, looking up at Tony.

Stevie knows Tony has found out about the truth about Stevie, because when Sam directs a hard stare at the bearded man, Tony squints down at him and says: “Huh. There are two of you. How many of you exist?”

“So what exactly are you going to frame me for?” Sarah snaps. “I’ve never had anything to do with you.”

Again, Tony makes a face. “Alright, that came out wrong. People either hate me or love me, and if they don’t love us, threatening can be the most – “

“Point being, Stark,” Sarah interrupts.

Tony looks at her and the open crack of the door at her side, and then down at Sam. “You have my cat.”

Tony lifts his wallet and sticks it in her face. A picture of a chubby, dirty Tony stuck in a car engine with Steve sitting beside him is tucked in it.

“Wait, that photo is taken years ago – “ she begins and Tony barges in. Ever the tactile one. Stevie’s little boy.

“Yeah, he’s an oldie but a goodie,” Tony notices and looks around, sighting Stevie at the door.

“Come here,” Tony calls out, snapping his fingers.

So Stevie naturally doesn’t budge.

“He seems to be fond of you,” Sarah dryly comments.

Tony makes a face at her and snaps his fingers again. “Stevie, come on, I get it, you’re mad, but Winter has been going crazy since you left. It’s been a month, have you even registered that, or does old farts like you not notice time pass anymore?”

Stevie meows innocently.

“Don’t make me come over there,” Tony glares and Stevie promptly flees into Elijah’s room, hiding underneath the boy’s bed.

“Sorry, lady, could you give us a second?” Tony asks and she glares at him, grabs her kid and slams the door, but not before Sam gets to squeeze his way in first.

Stevie stares at the wall. Underneath the bed several plastic toys share the space with him. It’s dusty and spells like apple juice.

“For your information, I’m insulted that you gave Barnes such unfaltering loyalty for all of these years, and you never turned human for _my_ sake,” Tony complains. He’s trying to get a reaction out of Stevie.

“You left in two different ways,” Stevie answers and Tony visibly jumps. He looks down underneath the bed and then flinches back. Stevie’s glowing blue eyes meet his in the darkness.

“Hey, boarding school was a war in itself,” Tony answers when he has sat upright again. He sounds shocked and breathless, but is trying to mask it with indifference.

“I knew where you were going for one, Tony,” Stevie softly tells him. “And I saw you regularly enough that I saw no need to wait for you.”

Tony sighs. “You didn’t know that Bucky wouldn’t come back.”

Stevie curls together. “I didn’t know much back then, Tony.” He tries not to, but he can feel the fondness, the affection, he always felt for Tony re-emerge after all of these years. No matter how much Tony grew, no matter how much he distanced himself, Tony would always be his little boy. “I didn’t know that he was probably dead. And so I waited.”

“You waited for me?”

“I eventually let you go. There was nothing to wait for. Like your father, your body was full of love, but you didn’t know how to give it. Or receive it. You didn’t know how to get up in the morning and look yourself in the eye, without having a glass of scotch first. It scared me. It was like you disappeared while standing right in front of me.”

“I’m not like my father.”

Stevie stares at Tony’s fists. “Your father loved you,” he gently reminds him. “He loved your mother as well. But the Manhattan project changed him.”

“Then he shouldn’t have launched it,” Tony snaps.

“He didn’t,” Stevie protests, surprise coloring his voice. “Manhattan was a last resort; a research and development project. Using it was meant to only be for necessary reasons. But Japan was on their knees and not far from surrender; they weren't supposed to do it. And the army weren’t going to do it either. They had had enough of the war, enough of the bad blood. But the Combined Policy Committee, the politicians and representatives, got authority over the project and decided to launch it. They wanted to test the theory; wanted to have the bigger stick. By the time your father found out, it was too late. And being the face and main developer of the project, he had to put on the blame.”

“And how the fuck do you know that?”

Stevie sighs and starts to crawl out. When he has escaped the cramped up space, Tony doesn’t even look up at him, just stares straight ahead, his arms around his legs. Stevie crouches beside him, their sides touching, Stevie’s naked skin against the clothe of Tony’s suit.

“The same way I know your father never cheated on your mother. The same way I knew he used days sorting out boarding schools, not because he wanted to get rid of you, but because he knew home was choking you. He was choking you. He knew you made out with Henry Moore from Hells Kitchen, and it wasn’t a coincidence that your boarding school had LGBT council. There weren’t many in the country back then. Your father wasn’t incapable of love; he was just unable to give it properly.”

Tony closes his eyes, and sinks.

Stevie closes his hand around Tony’s arm. “You should know how numb thick enough scar tissue can make you feel. It took you a long time to trust. 12 years to dare to love Pepper. You of all people should understand that it’s hard to love in the right way. So be brave and forgive him, Tony.”

Tony finally looks at him, his eyes wide and wet. “You have a lot to say,” he whispers.

“I was invisible for many years, and all I could do was watch with no voice,” Stevie reminds him, softly petting Tony’s hair. Tony holds Stevie’s eyes for seconds, before his brown eyes flicker down. “I hated that Howard sent you away. I hate that he never gave you the affection you so desperately craved. I hated his flaws, his guilt, his alcohol, his passiveness. But what took you away from me wasn’t time, it wasn’t distance, and it certainly wasn’t him. It was the bottle. _Your_ bottle, Tony.”

Tony bends his head. “I was always so confused. The last time I saw you I was 18 years old, and then… Every few year when I dropped by to check on the Mansion, you were there and I thought ‘Fuck I drink too much’. I thought it was impossible. I have pictures of you sleeping with me in my crib. And when the Avengers moved into the Mansion, and you were still there, I tried to stay as far away as I could from you. You couldn’t be real.”

“Huh,” Stevie says, tilting his head. “That’s why you threw a bottle at me.”

Tony flinches. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Stevie shrugs. “It’s a long time ago now.”

And he looks at Tony, and thinks of those three words, which are so hard for humans to say. The three words that humans crave so much, but no one wants to say willingly.

“I love you,” Stevie smiles, petting Tony’s hair. “I’m so glad you came back.”

\- _So the little ball of anger **is** capable of being soft, _Sam notices fondly. – _Stevie, the baddest most territorial motherfucker in Manhattan has a heart._

“Shut up,” Stevie says and throws a pillow at Sam, who smoothly dodges.

Tony looks at Stevie and Sam, and visibly lets it go. “Are you staying here?” Tony asks.

Stevie shrugs. “I’m a family cat, you know. The Avengers are just a little too old and jaded for me. And I like this family. The children are cute and Sam is here.”

Tony nods to himself. “I know I came here to get you to come home, but if you don’t want to leave, it’s fine,” Tony assures him and then more carefully: “But at least consider coming home with me. Winter hasn’t been himself since you left.”

“Then he shouldn’t have turned me away,” Stevie snaps, abruptly feeling loss and anger erupt in his chest. His tail swings side to side on the floor.

“He didn’t turn you away,” Tony protests. “It’s a lot to take in, okay? He could barely remember you as a cat, and now you’re a cat that is also a human?”

“I don’t care,” Stevie says. “You’re working on an armor that can fly, he has gotten a robot arm, Thor can control lightning, Banner becomes big and green and Wanda does magic… and what, me being able to take on a human form is too much for him?”

“But didn’t you wait 70 years for him, Stevie?” Sam asks. While Tony and Stevie were arguing, Sam has transformed, and he’s sitting on the floor, all chocolate skin, his dark tail in the air, only the tip of it crooked. He’s strong, able, with broad shoulders, perky cheekbones and almond eyes.

Tony tenses, staring at him for long moments, before pulling his stare away. “I don’t think it’s what you are, that bothers him,” he says, his voice shaking from shock. “I just think it’s hard to realize that they guy – sorry, person – he’s in love with is a cat. But I swear, he’s kinda over it now and he misses you.”

“I appreciate the diplomacy,” Steve coolly says. “But if Bucky wants to say something, he can come and do it himself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excuse the ending, but Stevie's a stubborn nut. Hopefully Tony and Steve re-bonding makes up for it. 
> 
> [Here's my tumblr. Come by and talk with me about Civil War if you want. ](lipstickyourway.tumblr.com)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stevie stares at him. “You know he wasn’t in control. You know it has never been his fault. It’s not fair of you to suddenly be righteous after all of these months knowing who he is and what he’s been through.”
> 
> “I thought you knew,” Bucky says to Tony, his eyes pinched together. “I thought you knew, I thought it must have been somewhere in Natasha’s published SSR files. I didn’t mean to keep it from you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alriiiiight. sorry in advance, all errors and mistakes in this chapter are mine.  
> This chapter took a long time to write, because 1) I wanted to make it more than Civil War compliant, and so I had to wait for the movie, rewrite some stuff and then boom 2) my computer broke so i couldn't edit and post.  
> but here it is, a little messy, so tell me if you don't feel like it makes sense.

In an ideal world, Bucky comes crawling back on his knees and begs Stevie for forgiveness. The sheer force of his desperation will make Stevie gloat on the inside, but on the outside he will be cold and play hard to get. He’ll keep up the act so hard, that Bucky will have to leave him, and Stevie will let him be miserable for a couple of days, before dressing up, putting on his makeup on nicely and then he’ll show up at the Mansion and relieve Bucky of his agony.

But because the universe hates Stevie, Tony goes home and Bucky doesn’t show. Stevie waits expectedly on the windowsill for a week, and Bucky doesn’t come.

So in the real world, Stevie falls into despair. He tries not to. Tries to tell himself he’ll be just fine without Bucky. He has experienced this loss before; the only difference is that this loss is permanent and he knows that this is final. It’s gone.

It’s so god damn hard.

Then Maria shows up.

They hear her yowl while annoying a sleeping Sarah, and they quickly leave her to go to the open window. Maria is sitting out there with three other cats. One of them is ancient; a Scottish wild cat, long fur ash grey, its fangs long and crooked, eyes round and green, whiskers many and thick, a few of them even extending from his brows. Wolverine, Stevie remembers. Keeps to the countryside of New York state, but visits the city now and then. The other one, Frank, a black cat with white fur on his stomach, paws and neck, resides with some lawyers in Hells Kitchen. The last cat, a red queen with slim limbs, a narrow face with orange eyes and nice ears, Stevie hasn’t seen before.

\- _What is it?_ Sam asks in annoyance. _\- This is my territory, get lost or I’ll make you._

\- _Our humans,_ the red feline starts. – _They’ve been taken. We need help._

 _\- Doesn’t concern us,_ Stevie replies. – _You should’ve taken better care of them._

\- _My human was taken but he got out,_ Maria solemnly informs. – _But they took your humans, Stevie._

Stevie tenses up, his tail tensing and stretching down to the floor. – _You’re lying._

  * _I was there,_ Maria lets him know. – _Their humans, my human,_ _Wolvie’s human -_
  * _Mutant,_ Wolvie growls.
  * _The one in the wheelchair,_ Maria nonchalantly continues. – _Your humans too, Stevie. They were all taken away all of a sudden. Hope and Frank’s humans were kidnapped in their own apartments. They’re gathering superhumans, because of a new accord. Everyone who resist are taken to the Raft._



Stevie stares. – _Since when._

  * _Two days ago,_ Hope informs. – _Either they start working for the UN, they retire or they get arrested. They don’t have the right for a lawyer or for a trial or anything._
  * _They have nothing on my human!_ Frank suddenly snaps. – _My human is normal, not enhanced!_
  * _As if,_ Hope snaps. – _Your humans can see through darkness and hear things miles away, Hell, he could be one of us!_
  * _Your human becomes tiny!_
  * **_ENOUGH_** _,_ Stevie snaps. – _If our humans are all captured, we need to do something about it._



Maria perks up. – _So are you two coming?_

Stevie looks at Sam. – _I am,_ he says, leaving the question in the air.

They all stare at Sam in expectation.

_\----_

When Stevie shows up in a safe house in New Jersey, Maria leading him there, he gives Fury a little shock. He gallantly introduces himself, and only because Clint and Natasha had already reported on him, does Fury believe him. Maria lies lazy and dozing in the background on the table, as Stevie leafs through the folder of photographs and a thick book called the “Sokovia Accords”. Stevie looks from Fury to her, and Maria silently threatens him with decapitation if he utters a word, so Stevie assumes she wants to keep that secret to herself.

“But where is Thor and Banner in all of this?” Stevie asks, having gotten the list of people imprisoned, on what circumstances and why. “And how did you get out of the Raft?”

Fury shrugs. “They never had nothing on me, just wanted to spook me from interfering. Everything I’ve done was under legal supervision, and what I’ve done illegally they have no evidence on. Stark fooled Thor into taking Banner to Asgard when all of this started, just until this whole thing had settled. He knew that if they stayed, they’d resist the Accords and it’d make everything worse.”

“So,” Stevie sighs. “Let me see if I understand this right: Tony supports the Sokovia Accords, but still has a healthy distrust towards it. He proclaims that when people have been assured by the Avengers’ compliance about accommodating this new law, he will attempt to get the Accords changed towards an outcome where there’s a lesser chance of the Avengers being manipulated by foreign regimes’ agendas. It seems like he knows what he’s doing, so why didn’t all of the Avengers sign?”

“Because, your ‘human’ has been accused of murder and terrorism,” Fury informs. “There was an attack in Vienna; ended up killing the richest man on Earth, king T’Chaka of Wakanda. A few days later a video of Winter murdering Tony’s parents was published on the dark web. Kinda made the new Wakandan king and Tony see red.” He sighs and leans forwards. “But even if all of that hadn’t happened, Winter still minded the law and refused to sign. Argued that he of all people knew how regimes abused you and used you; how they only see you as a weapon, and how they won’t always do what’s right.”

“And …” Stevie clears his throat. “After the death of the king and the video was published, the UN wanted Barnes shot on sight.”

“Natasha and Clint broke it up, made sure Special Ops brought him in alive,” Fury nods. “They argued that the photo taken of him during the attack, could just be a Photostatic veil and a wig and that there was no real evidence of him carrying out the act of terror. Wanda tried to defend them.”

“Bucky wouldn’t get caught like that.” Stevie shakes his head. “And let me guess; Ross didn’t like any of that?”

“They were all accused of cooperating with Winter and arrested for resisting the execution of the law. Ross almost threw Tony in jail too, because he didn’t want to provide the identity of the last vigilante.”

“How many are there?”

“So far? Six at most, three we’re sure of. Daredevil, Ant-Man and Spider-man. He gave up Daredevil and Ant man, but refused to give up the spider. He got off easy though, solely because Spidey hasn’t been as active as the two others. And that’s not even the worst of it.”

“And they have Xavier too,” Stevie says, stumbling on a picture of the mutant getting arrested at a conference in Philadelphia. So Xavier really is Wolvie’s human.

“Tony didn’t see this coming,” Stevie says, and he can’t help but sound a bit defensive.

“Tony has been rich, spoiled and young in the land of bastards, politics and intrigues,” Fury provides. “He underestimated what he agreed to, and he’s emotionally compromised because of the video. His compromise was a necessary though, no matter what.”

Stevie closes the folder, and stares at his duffel bag, silent but warm and occasionally twitching with small bodies. “Let’s start with a plan.”

\-----

Stevie wheels the cart through the halls. He’s wearing the canteen staff’s uniform: a high black skirt, and a blue shirt, with a black collar. He’s carrying all of the necessary badges and keycards, remembers all of the numbers and key words. The usual guard, a woman in her early thirties currently sleeping in the laundry basket, had been installed by Ross as the only one allowed to get close to the Avengers. He probably thought that because she was a woman in non-Kevlar uniform, the Avengers wouldn’t willingly hurt her, even though she was secretly armed to her teeth and used to be one of SSR’s top agents.

So he had stuffed his bra and put on makeup, and now walks through the halls in solemn silence. The prison and prisoners are new enough for the staff not to have established firm routines and shifts, so Stevie’s unfamiliar face doesn’t cause any alarm as he walks towards the prisons. A few guards even nod, and say “Ma’am.”

Finally, he lets himself into the cellblock, which is really just a huge room with a circle of glass cells fanned around the doors. He keeps his head down as he stops the cart. Relaxed he turns around.

Normally it takes two people to lock the door, a measure taken so no guard would ever stay alone, but Stevie’s strong enough to push the lever down by himself. He quickly locks it with his card. He’s not nervous about them hitting the alarm. He’s sure Wolvie have already taken backup down by now.

He throws off the cap, and runs to the nearest cell, where Wanda is sitting in a straightjacket. She doesn’t look at him, her eyes blank and red, and Stevie’s lockdown happened so quickly and silently that most of the Avengers locked behind the soundproof glass hasn’t even noticed him.

He attaches one of the two code deciphers Phil passed him, and quickly runs to the next cell, attaching another one. When he hears doors roll up behind him, he shouts: “Witch, Birdbrain, get going, we don’t have all day.”

The next second he knows, Clint and Wanda are running out of their cells, looking around frantically, Wanda’s legs unsteady and stumbling with her arms locked in. Clint gets Wanda out of the jacket, while Stevie goes from cell to cell, transferring the two code deciphers to each cell.

By the time he reaches Bucky – who’s in a cell in a _cell_ – he takes his sweet time. He lets himself into the first cell, and steps towards the cell-cell.

“Well, look at what we have here,” he crows. “Little Bucky tried to resist a law, and got himself accused of murder and terrorism and got himself locked up. Well, well, well.”

“Let me out,” Bucky growls, staring up at him.

“Oh with this?” Stevie blinks innocently, waiving the keycard and the eye he plucked out of Ross’ skull. “Nah, I don’t feel like it.”

“Can we not do this right now?” Bucky yells, just as the alarm starts.

“I don’t know about you, but I can come and go as I feel like,” Stevie sighs happily, his tail curving around his leg underneath the skirt. “I mean, I could save you today… tomorrow… in a month… next Christmas…”

“Alright, alright, what do you want me to do?” Bucky asks.

“Say sorry,” Stevie demands.

“I’m sorry, I apologize, my precious cat-human-spirit, please let me out of here,” Barnes rambles, the floor starting to vibrate. So reinforcements got past Wolvie.

“Say you love me,” Stevie grins.

“I love you.”

“Like you mean it.”

“Natasha!” Bucky calls out, shaking in the machine.

“Get it over with!” Natasha calls back.

Bucky and Stevie stare at each other. Then Stevie sighs, and looks at his imaginary watch, listening to the steps getting closer.

“Look, alright, I’m sorry,” Bucky huffs. “I love you. I love you like I’ve never loved anyone before, and that scares me. I’m so in love with you, but I’m scared. A-And I should’ve just said so, but.”

“You were scared,” Stevie finishes the sentence and slides his card through. “Alright, are everyone here?” he calls out, mentally counting.

There’s a blind guy in the group of people, his feet bare and his eyes blankly staring only at one place. He’s tense though, alert. This must be the senses guy.

“Are you Frank’s human?” Stevie asks him. “You, with the blind eyes.”

“Frank?” the man asks, looking confused. “He’s dead.”

“He told me you’d said that,” Stevie notices and then looks around, his eyes landing on Xavier, being held up by Clint and some other man with dark hair and a lankier figure than his comrades.

“Who the Hell are you?” Stevie asks.

“Ant-Man,” the guy replies.

“Alright, we all have to make a break for it to platform C1-D5, I will pave the way and keep the snipers off us and try to immobilize forces. Ant-Man, I know you’re a thief, you’ll help me with the technical locks, since you don’t have your gear on you. Wanda and Natasha, you’ll be behind me and Ant. Take care of the guards I didn’t take down. Clint, you’ll carry our dear Professor X, and be careful, or Wolvie will tear your head off. Bucky and Matt follow, Matt keep those famous ears out for us and Bucky will take care of whatever Special Op coming at us. We have 20 minutes before we’re at the surface, and 30 minutes before Vision, Tony and Rhodey are coming to kick our asses. Let’s go.”

He pulls the lever up again and they’re running fast through the labyrinth interior of the Raft. The plan goes somewhat smoothly, Ant-Man running ahead, breaking up locks, as Stevie keeps the guards off and the snipers off the Avengers. They leave a thick black trail of men and women behind them, and when they finally reach the outside, it’s raining heavily, the sky dark and grey despite it being the middle of day.

“I fucking hate rain,” Stevie growls, running towards the Quinjet and helicopter, Fury standing in front of the aircrafts under an umbrella with Maria around his neck like a huge scarf.

Stevie’s reflexes abruptly make him jump back, as an armor of titanium and gold lands in front of him.

“Well, maybe you should stay here then,” Tony says and straightens up. “Time out for bad kittens and all that.”

Stevie stares at him. “Fancy armor. Only took you two years to finish it.”

“Only took you 70 years to get that body,” Tony shoots back.

The people behind Stevie are staring, and getting drenched. Their window of time is slipping by. Stevie doesn’t want to end this with a fight, but he doesn’t know how to convince Tony to step down.

He suddenly feels so tired. Why is he doing this? It feels too much like a choice between Tony and Bucky Stevie never wanted to make. Why are they all fighting, even? The reasons seem so far away.

“What are you doing, my boy?” Stevie asks, shuddering in the rain.

If only he could see Tony’s face. But right now he can only see the glowing narrowed eyes of the armor. “He killed my parents, Stevie. Alright? He killed them.”

Stevie stares at him. “You know he wasn’t in control. You know it has never been his fault. It’s not fair of you to suddenly be righteous after all of these months knowing who he is and what he’s been through.”

“I thought you knew,” Bucky says to Tony, his eyes pinched together. “I thought you knew, I thought it must have been somewhere in Natasha’s published SSR files. I didn’t mean to keep it from you.”

“Shut up!” Tony roars.

Stevie stares at them for long moments. He can feel his makeup gliding off his face. “At least let the Professor go,” he tries. “He can’t walk, Tony. How could you put him in a prison cell?”

“He didn’t want to hand over Cerebro,” Tony argues. “What are you even doing here, Stevie? You have no idea what’s going on. I thought you said you wanted to stay with those kids.”

Stevie stares at him. “You and Barnes are still my kids,” he gently says. “No matter how old you are. What are you doing, Tony? Locking up all of your friends?” He stares around. “Here, of all places?”

Tony’s mouth snaps shut. “I didn’t know they’d put them here. It’s a sacrifice. A compromise. We need to be put in check.”

“Not like this,” Stevie tries, and he can feel his eyes become warm and wet. He frowns. “You can’t bend for every conflict that comes up, Tony. They come up all the time.”

“It’s complicated – “

“It doesn’t have to be,” Stevie interrupts. “I know you’ve already signed, but if they haven’t - ”

“I’m doing it for their sake, it’s me or goons aiming to kill,” Tony argues.

Stevie stares at him. “Like the one you let come after Bucky?” He drops his hands. “Look around you, Tony? You think Ross or UN are ever going to let the Avengers go? Their human rights have not been regarded at all since the beginning.”

“They’re not human.”

“Neither are you, Tony. You haven’t been for a long time.” Stevie wipes away rain from his eyes. “Look, I get it, Tony, I do, but this has been handled wrong. You’re not going to win. You’ve lost your parents, Tony. None of us can do anything about that.” Stevie stares at him. “But right now, you’re about to sacrifice your friends too, and that’s something you _can_ change.”

Tony slumps. “I never got to tell them I loved them.”

“I’m sorry.”

“We can’t win.”

“If we stand together, we can,” Natasha speaks up. “We’ve won over aliens, Ultron, gods and men, Tony.”

“We’re not supposed to fight the world, we’re supposed to protect it,” Tony argues, but it sounds half-hearted.

“We will,” Bucky assures. “But we need to do it on our terms.” He heaves and then spits blood. “The reason I killed your parents was because parts of the government controlled me, Tony. Can’t you see that giving them the wheel will be too risky?”

“And you don’t even have Ross’ permission to be here to begin with,” Xavier joins in. “Your father sacrificed his morality to keep the people safe. But if you start controlling and regulating mutants… It’s not gonna end well, Tony. You’re too close to becoming what you’re fighting.”

“So what do you say?” Tony asks, fury low and simmering in his voice. “I just run away with you? We’ll be criminals, but together?”

“No,” Stevie disagrees. “I can’t ask that of you. Stay where you are. We need someone on the inside anyway. When things have calmed down, we’ll do as you proposed and try to get the Accords changed so it won’t be abused.”

“And if the world won’t let us do that?” Tony asks.

“They won’t have a choice,” Natasha lets him know. “If the time comes, they won’t have any other choice but to do it on our terms. We shouldn’t go to jail for saving a city from falling down from the sky or preventing the World Council nuking New York.”

Steve nods. “The world needs you, Tony. The world needs the Avengers. And when the time comes where another war will pack itself into the world’s mouth, they’ll bend.”

“You seem sure on that,” Tony comments.

Stevie looks behind him, at the people waiting for him. “Europe. Japan. Korea. Vietnam. Iraq. Afghanistan. I’ve witnessed them all take away so many people. The world will always bend. But right not it’s your responsibility not to.”

Tony stares at him for long seconds and then flips open the faceplate, staring at Stevie with emotionless eyes. “Alright,” he sighs. “Alright. But you promise me – “

“Not to interrupt the truly inspiring dialogue about the lines of wrong and right, but we need to go,” Fury interrupts. “We have two minutes before this place goes underwater again.”

“I love you, To- “ Stevie begins.

“STEEEEEEEVIIIEEEEEEEE,” Sam’s voice screams somewhere and Stevie turns his head.

A black figure is making way out of the gates. It’s wearing a black suit, smells like metal and Sam is on him, barely hanging on with his legs clenching around the person’s waist, arms around its neck, as it ruthlessly makes way to the outside. The figure has cat ears and eyes in the shape of slits, a necklace made out of metal; its pendants looking like big saber cat teeth. Just as the black figure exits the gates, he swiftly somersaults. Sam’s back hits the metal floor underneath the black figure’s weight. Sam curls together in agony. Even Fury must've heard Sam’s ribs break.

“Go,” Stevie snaps at Tony and Bucky, nodding towards the direction of the helicopter and Quinjet. “Fury, fly Professor X to safety, he'll call for backup. Avengers, go to Siberia. Matt, that means you too.”

The group jogs past him to the aircrafts, and when the cat man tries to follow, Stevie steps in his way, shoving the man back towards the gates.

  * _Who’s that?_ he asks Sam.



Maria throws herself off Fury’s shoulder just as the helicopter sets off and lands on two, slender white legs, naked in the rain and not looking bothered by it. She stands a few meters beside Stevie, adding to the wall between the cat man and the Avengers. Fury looks back at her, and when he sees her, his eye looks ready to pop out.

 _\- Prince of Wakanda_ , she replies. – _Codename: Black Panther._

 _\- He’s enhanced_ , Sam contributes, getting up breathlessly behind the Panther. - _Strength, senses, agility, speed. He could be one of us, for all we know._

\- _Could be_. _I can’t smell him through the armor,_ Stevie thoughtfully ponders.

\- _Good thing y’all didn’t come alone_ , Wolverine notices, as he steps out of the gates. They are beginning to subtly circle the prince, their steps lightweight but tense like springs.

“Let me through,” the king demands.

“Or we’ll make you,” Vision joins in, slipping through the floor beneath Sam and Wolvie, his headpiece glowing. They hear the sound of jets, and a sterling grey figure makes way through the stormy clouds, flying directly after the Quinjet.

  * _Frank, Hope,_ Stevie calls out and the two cats spring from the roof of the gates. They clamp their claws into Rhodey’s metal armor, and Rhodey swirls for a second, as they hijack his thrusters with their claws. He lands on his feet besides Panther and Vision.



“He killed my father,” Black Panther growls, pointing at the disappearing helicopter and Quinjet.

“You can settle your business when they’ve taken care of Zemo and the Winter Soldiers,” Stevie neutrally replies, because he doesn’t know what Bucky has done. Fury had said that photos could be manipulated, and that Barnes has enough enemies for someone wanting to sabotage him. But there is still a photo and even though Professor X has claimed to remove all of those buttons inside of Bucky, who knows if some new ones hadn’t been installed while Stevie was out.

“Priorities, man,” Sam joins in. “These Winter Soldiers could end it all, including your country, in a day.”

“He will run, when the fight breaks out,” the prince says.

“That’s why Tony is with them,” Stevie assures, trying to sound soothing. “There will always be another day to capture Bucky, but these people? We only have one shot at this.”

“And let more lives go to waste for another witch hunt?” Rhodey pipes up. “I can’t believe Tony is doing this.”

“You’re young,” Sam speaks up. “You don’t know what this war between the Avengers is going to entail.”

“You’re a cat.”

“I was the cat of Bayard Rustin,” Sam snaps. “I watched him fight, get arrested, beaten and eventually killed for the rights of black and gay people. And here you’re standing, Colonel.” Sam stops, stares at Rhodey’s faceplate with glowing, yellow eyes. “Violating human rights. You’ve forgotten where you come from.”

“That is not the same,” Rhodey snaps.

“They were imprisoned without trial, without lawyers,” Maria speaks up. “Wanda had to eat protein shakes through a straw.”

“Calm down and think this through,” Hope sing-songs.

“Calm down and think,” the cat group echo her.

“History,” Stevie sighs.

“A waterfall of blood,” Wolverine says.

“We don’t have to do it this way,” Stevie tries again. “I urge you to surrender. You don’t need to die tonight.”

“I urge you not to listen to Stevie and fight,” Wolverine growls. “I haven’t tasted human blood in a while.”

“And how are you going to stop us?” Vision asks, but he sounds more thoughtful that threatening. “I can pass right through you. The king of Wakanda is covered in vibranium. Colonel Rhodes is covered in titanium.”

The cats stop their stride around the three men, and Wolverine turns his front towards them.

_Snikt._

Huh. Stevie didn’t know Wolverine could do that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the conversations in this chapter were pretty much how i perceived the movie's plot. I'm not necessarily on either tony or steve's side, so it was a little tough to write. In the end, I could only write through what seemed likely/what happened in the movie. Let me know what you thought!
> 
> Also, did I not link visuals to the cats before? My bad
> 
> Sam:
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> Maria:
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> Frank:
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> Hope:
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> Wolverine: And Stevie (imagine with blue eyes):
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>  


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Don’t touch me,” the man orders.
> 
> She pats Panther’s head down with two clawed, small hands. “Hey! These ears aren’t real!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait, i'm in-between exams right now. Short chapter, hope you enjoy! Hopefully next update will arrive sooner

In the end the fight doesn’t last for long. Not because either side wins easily – the cats are quick and strong, but the Avengers are pretty much invulnerable, so it’s very much a standstill– but because the Raft’s open helicopter platform is folding in on itself like a daisy shutting closed at sunset. The cats and the Avengers look at each other for a moment, before all of them scramble to get inside the Raft before it submerges. Once they’re all inside, the cats scatter. In the vents, Stevie hears whispers that Nick Fury had activated an evacuation algorithm in the Raft’s AI, and therefore the Raft had stubbornly stayed open while he was jailbreaking the prisoners. After Fury took off, the warden had been able to put the prison in full emergency lockdown, and Stevie figures that if the rest of the Avengers are locked in here with the cats, there won’t be any reason to fight them anytime soon – conflict avoided. Maybe Stevie has time to take a nap now.

But no. Vision, the fucker, passes right through the walls without glancing back. T’Challa’s suit doesn’t provide him flight and Rhodey’s jet boosters are still too damaged to carry him, so T’Challa will need a lift and Rhodey is not fit for combat.

To start with, though, when they’ve just gotten inside the Raft again before it submerged, they’re all locked together in the same room.

First comes the gas, trying to knock them out. It doesn’t work on any of them, the cats’ bodies not working like human bodies do and the Avengers’ suits protecting them. Then come the long messages from the speakers, asking them all to drop their arms and surrender, and that provides Stevie the info that the Raft has no idea that they’ve just captured the wrong people. And then at last, thank god Ross can do something right, giant magnets are turned on and Rhodey and Black Panther promptly fly through the room and are stuck to the wall.

“Let’s cut them up,” Wolverine suggests, nearing Rhodey.

“No,” Stevie forbids, when Hope and Frank start to walk towards the two warriors with an excited look on their faces. “They’re my human’s friends.”

“Rhodey is,” Sam chips in, cleaning his claws, but actually looking uninterested in playing with prey.

“The other one is a cat and we’re probably in his territory. It wouldn’t be right,” Stevie halfheartedly tries, but he doesn’t really care a lot for the Panther.

“Really?” Hope questions, stepping nearer the Panther who Stevie can sense is glaring through the mask. “I can’t see a tail.”

“Don’t touch me,” the man orders.

She pats Panther’s head down with two clawed, small hands. “Hey! These ears aren’t real!”

“Get off him,” Rhodey barks. “He’s my friend and a friend of Tony’s.”

Hope glares at him and then at Stevie.

“If he’s a friend of my human, you will not touch him,” Stevie hisses, and Hope respectfully steps away.

“I don’t understand this armor,” Frank comments, poking T’Challa in the center of his ribcage. “If he’s trying to be a cat, then where are his fangs?”

“I heard humans ‘fake it until they make it’,” Hope giggles. “Maybe that’s what he’s doing?”

“Hey, Rhodey, you’re stuck,” Stevie calls out. “Come out and talk to us here.”

“I think I might skip this one,” Rhodey says, his tone light but wary.

Stevie tilts his head. “Don’t take this too personally, Rhodey. I’m just making sure my humans aren’t tearing each other to pieces. I don’t care for this war.”

“Good to know,” Rhodey coldly responds.

Stevie looks at him calculatingly. “If you come out, I’ll feed you.”

“Try again, Stevie.”

Stevie squints and then sighs, because that’s about all he can think of, besides offering to either clean Rhodey or mate with him, both off the table, since humans have an obsessive sense of hygiene and Stevie has his eyes on another man. “What do you want me to do? Tell you how Tony made Taylor break up with you in MIT?”

“What?” Rhodey exclaims.

“War Machine,” the Panther says in a warning tone.

“And it had something to do with someone nicknamed ‘Booster’?” Stevie baits.

“I knew it was him,” Rhodey mumbles to himself. “Still not getting out. Thanks for providing me enough information to force it out of Tones though.”

By the time the place seizes to be in lockdown, the cats transform and climb into the vents, leaving piles of clothes behind. Silently they keep track of the proceedings, Ross chewing both of them out, asking them for info they don’t have. Therefore Stevie knows when the Black Panther harasses a Quinjet off the staff, while Rhodey’s armor is too heavy for him to use without his jet boosters.

“Should’ve thought it through like Stark,” Black Panther remarks as Stevie sneaks onto the jet in his cat form. “The gold makes the armor lighter.”

Stevie signals the other cats, and they all squeeze into a cabinet of weapons. Apparently this Quinjet is made to hunt superpowered criminals down, so therefore it’s pretty much indestructible and it’s heavily armed. And Stevie knows they’re not going to get caught sneaking on board; the sensors and AI have been dismantled on the jet since T’Challa’s doesn’t have any authority in this aircraft.

“But he’s also more vulnerable,” Rhodey says, lifting an eyebrow. “You’ll be alright on your own, your Highness?”

“I’ll be fine,” the Panther hisses.

“Alright.” Rhodey steps back, eyeing the cabinet where they are hiding. Did he see them sneak on board? No, he would’ve told on them if he did. “Just don’t start any international crisis, alright?”

T’Challa grunts, and walks inside the jet without looking back. He takes off and the jet moves through the rain like one of Clint’s arrows. Stevie is satisfied and smug about how easy that went, when of course, midway to Siberia, Frank and Hope start arguing. It comes to an end when Hope pushes Frank off one shelf and he lands on his paws in the bottom of the cabinet with a soft _thumb_.

Stevie can see the Panther stiffen and then put the plane on autopilot. He stands up, and looks directly at the weapon cabinet of which Stevie is peeking through.

  * _We’re dead,_ Stevie notices. – _Because the two of you couldn’t keep quiet for two hours more. Now he’s going to throw us all out of the plane and we’ll drown, and our humans are going to jail._



T’Challa stops at the cabinet, and slowly starts to open it. Stevie sticks out his paw, and scratches T’Challa’s face in warning.

Instead of kicking the cabinet, throwing a grenade in there or simply locking it like Stevie expects, T’Challa sighs and sits down on his bum, mumbling something depressing in his language.

Stevie jumps out, and lands on his thigh. The guy doesn’t move and Stevie stares at him, his face in his hands. Stevie pats his paw at T’Challa’s chin, and T’Challa rises, letting Stevie fall down. Stevie meows at him in complaint, and T’Challa ignores him so hard Stevie considers if the guy can even see him.

They land in Siberia, and T’Challa sneaks inside the fortress, tailed by the cats.

The following events are, to Stevie’s relief, also quite anticlimactic. Zemo shot the Winter Soldiers in their sleep, obviously not having expected the Avengers to show up united. Bucky and T’Challa fight a bit, but the Avengers quickly separate and Tony, looking like he’s in pain, provides him the evidence of Bucky’s innocence.

They all calm down a bit, sit down outside and stare at the barren wasteland in silence, wondering what to do.

“I bet you all feel real stupid now,” Stevie comments, having found an emergency blanket in the Quinjet and walking on his bare feet towards them. He can hear the cats following him, and as soon as they’re close enough, the cats runs off to join their respective human.

“This is a tiny bit weird now,” Lang notices with a crooked smile, his hands stiff on top of Hope’s orange golden fur.

Stevie glares at him, and can’t help but risk a glance at Bucky, afraid to come nearer though he wants to. Bucky looks weary yet tense as he meets Stevie’s eyes. “What, you thought cats couldn’t think before we looked human?”

“Hey, don’t take it the wrong way, I communicate with ants and I tell you, they can be feisty,” Lang grins. “But yeah, it takes some getting used to. Isn’t that right?” The last sentence is aimed at Hope with a ridiculous baby voice, as he holds her up. She licks his nose.

“Where’s Rhodey?” Tony asks.

Stevie shrugs. “I don’t know.”

“What about Vision?” Wanda inquires.

Stevie shrugs again. “I don’t know.”

The Avengers exchange glances.

“I’m starting to understand why cats have left us in the dark for so long,” Clint grunts. “They just don’t give a damn.”

“Damns are for dogs,” Stevie wistfully remarks before crouching down in the snow. He looks at Sam. – _We should check if the bodies are really dead. It could be a trap._

  * _Seems like a good idea,_ Sam answers.
  * _The Winter Soldiers should be thawed by now,_ Frank says, sticking up his head from Matt’s gentle caressing hands and looking inside.  



“Do you need the Winter Soldier bodies?” Stevie asks, starting to head towards the entrance.

“We need to burn them,” Bucky says, looking at Tony. “Otherwise the serum is just going to get replicated again.”

Tony nods, and rubs his face. “I’m so fucked. God. What am I going to tell Ross?”

“I mind controlled you,” Wanda suggests.

“Someone would have to remove your collar first,” Tony dismisses.

“Sam, stay here and keep an eye out,” Stevie asks, and Sam meows in confirmation, going to curl himself on Panther’s lap. Lazy bastard.

Stevie leaves the conversation behind, and goes inside the facility. Tired, he returns to his cat form. The cats have already climbed on top of a Winter Soldier when he joins them, and Stevie is heading towards the fifth chamber, when he realizes something is wrong. Through the foggy glass, he can’t hear or see a soldier in there. He can smell the blood, but –

A hand grabs him around the neck, and squishes him into a wall. Everything goes dark.

\----

Stevie can hear the Avengers fighting, the cats yowling.

\----

The hand is persistent and hard around his neck. His head feels dented. His furry face is wet with blood. But he can’t move. He can only feel his eyes throb, his head bleed, his body is paralyzed.

\----

When it finally lets go, he is flying – no falling. He is falling, and he hits icy waters. He hates water. Why can’t he just get run over by a truck or something, like how cats usually die. No. It had to be water and ice, his two least favorite things in the world.

God, after all of this trouble he is going to die like this. He should’ve known. He should’ve been held by Bucky one last time. He’d give everything to be swung around like Bucky did that time Stevie was wearing that dirty navy dress.

Water fills his lungs.

He can hear something. It sounds like.

It sounds like a bark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Steve,” Bucky says with a heavy voice. He sounds oh so darn tired, so sick, so heavy.
> 
> “That’s not my name,” Stevie growls. “My name is Stevie.”
> 
> “Don’t you think Stevie is a funny name to give a cat?” Bucky asks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, so sorry for the long wait. I've been busy with exams and traveling, and I'm glad I have you to remind me. 
> 
> This chapter was honestly written a long time ago, but I've been way too lazy to proofread it. As you've probably noticed English is not my first language, and even though I know there are a lot of typos in the "finished" product, trust me when i say you don't wanna see it before. On that note, anyone wants to volunteer as a beta?
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy ^^

Green walls.

That’s the first thing Stevie realizes that he’s looking at.

Green walls and curry curtains. Chiffon. The sunrays are floating in through them, coloring the room yellow.

It smells like dog. Smells like blood. It smells sterile.

Stevie tries to move, but his limps are encased with plaster casts. He wiggles, and draws out his claws scraping at the surface from the inside. It takes a long time. He feels slow and tired, but stubbornness wins out and he liberates himself from the casts before he falls asleep.

He sits up, and jumps down onto the floor, sniffing around.

Underneath the smell of blood and dog, there’s a strong scent of Wolverine.

He walks to the door, and realizes that it is locked. He limps over to the window and jumps up on the sill, staring out.

So much green. So many trees.

This is not New York and it isn’t Siberia either

The building is even bigger than the Stark Mansion. It’s older too.

There’s a closet in the back of the room. He transforms and finds underwear in his size and some fluffy dresses. He finds his navy dress. Or well. Wanda’s navy dress.

He puts it on, and climbs out of the window. Forget mansion. This place looks more like a castle.

He runs down the roofs, and hears people underneath them startle with surprise. It’s not long before he hears Xavier’s voice in his head.

_\- We’re in my office._

Stevie doesn’t answer, and instead tries to find the safest point to jump down to without agitating his ankles.

 _\- Can you please come?_ Xavier asks.

No, not really.

“Cat!” a deep voice calls out behind him.

He looks back, and sees a tall, muscular blond man outside the window Stevie climbed out of, staring at him. He looks worried and scared and off-balance. He’s wearing a long blue coat and a bowler hat. Determined to follow Stevie, but afraid of falling. One of his eyes is missing. His face looks familiar.

Stevie turns around and keeps walking.

“Cat, god dammit,” the man calls out. “Come back!”

“Don’t tell me what to do!”

People are poking their heads out of the windows now.

“Come on, I will fall if I follow you,” the man whines.

“Then don’t follow me,” Stevie replies, jumping down onto yet another roof. He does a few more jumps, and a long one before he lands on the ground. He starts walking, but can’t help feeling bad. The man is cowering at the edge of a roof, looking ready to cry. He’s closer, but not close enough to catch up.

Stevie watches him with a frown. “Go back!” he shouts. “Go back, before you fall!”

“No!” the man stubbornly refuses. He jumps out of sheer spite, lands wrong on the roof and rolls down. With resignation Stevie watches the man quickly descend to the ground, while walking to the place he thinks the man will fall.

He holds out his arms, and the big bread of a man falls down onto Steve’s arms, his body bending like a bowstring. His hat drops off, revealing big furry golden ears.

 _\- Cat_! the man exclaims, and licks Stevie’s face. He wrinkles his nose. Stevie feels a tail start to wag against his leg. – _Wow, human taste buds are so weird._

And Stevie realizes why the man’s face looks familiar.

The man is wearing Stevie’s face.

\----

“Who the Hell is he?” Stevie asks, dragging the man behind him as he stomps into Xavier’s office. The man politely closes the door, and then looks hopefully at Clint, his tail nervously wagging. Stevie knows the man is a dog. Dog in the same way Stevie, despite this form, is a cat. Stevie can smell it all over him. But he knows that dogs don’t transcend the way cats do. He doesn’t know why, but he knows it hasn’t happened before.

“I told you, cat, I’m Lucky,” the man whimpers.

Xavier, Clint, Bucky and Natasha are waiting in the office. Clint has several bandages on his face, Bucky’s arm looks dysfunctional and Natasha’s arm is in a cast.

“What the Hell happened to you?” Stevie asks, letting go of the strange man.

“A Winter Soldier,” Xavier replies. “It appears that Zemo was fed intel about the Avengers arriving with Stark as an aid, and not as a perpetrator. Realizing his plan had failed, he decided to take control of one Soldier.”

“Why not all of them?” Stevie asks, crossing his arms.

“He had already killed them,” Clint announces, and holds out his hands. Lucky hurries around Stevie and goes to Clint, wrapping his arms around him. Clint is a head smaller than the man and less broad, but Clint seems to think nothing of it, stroking the man’s hair and rubbing his arm soothingly.

“Why is he wearing my face?” Stevie asks. “What happened? Where’s Tony?”

“Tony is with Ross,” Natasha informs him. “Thankfully, Rhodey and T’Challa chose to not testify against him, and Tony has corrupted the data on the Raft that shows him following us willingly.”

Stevie nods, sighing with relief. “I assume it was the Soldier that put me in casts?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Bucky says, and his voice sounds weird.

“Is he dead?” Stevie asks.

“Yes,” Bucky answers.

“Good,” Stevie says, and glides over to him. Bucky looks up at him with dull eyes, and Stevie seats himself on Bucky’s lap. It’s times like this Stevie realizes how much healing Bucky still has to do. Feeling the weary soldier creak underneath him, feeling the dust on his old heart. Stevie puts a hand on Bucky’s cheek, and nuzzles his cheek.

Bucky takes a deep breath, and closes his eyes.

Stevie straightens and points accusingly at the strange man. “Who’s he?” he shouts.

“Lucky!” the man yells out, straightening up as well, glaring at Stevie who hisses at him.

“We’re pretty sure, yeah,” Bucky confirms and Stevie looks at him in astonishment. “Rhodey found him scaling Stark Tower. He recognized… the face and flew him to Siberia.”

“I woke up where you buried me,” Lucky chips in. “I couldn’t breathe. I dug myself out, and the house was empty. I just knew something was very, very wrong, I knew somebody else was going to die!”

“You just woke up with my face and a brick body?” Stevie asks in disgust.

Lucky shrugs and smiles. “You’re just mad because it suits me better.”

“Does not!” Stevie shouts, enraged.

“Does too!” Lucky shouts back.

“Enough,” Natasha says, rubbing her temples. “If what T’Challa says is true, it’s not unlikely that Lucky reincarnated like you did.”

“I didn’t reincarnate,” Stevie grumbles. “And dogs don’t do that! They don’t want to live forever, they die and go to dog heaven. Besides, I was _born_. I had a mother. That guy just showed up out of thin air!”

“My name is Lucky!”

“Steve,” Bucky says with a heavy voice. He sounds oh so darn tired, so sick, so heavy.

“That’s not my name,” Stevie growls. “My name is Stevie.”

“Don’t you think Stevie is a funny name to give a cat?” Bucky asks.

The room is completely silent now. They’re waiting for Bucky to talk, for Bucky to tell Stevie something. Something important. He frowns at Bucky, and feels oddly afraid.

“Wolverine, Hope, Frank,” Xavier starts when it seems like Bucky can’t continue. “They all had memories of past lives. Wolverine was one of the first mutants to have existed; his body didn’t age, and he had regenerative healing. Claws grew out of his hands – the ones you saw on the Raft. Humans hunted him down, and his body was filled with fluid adamantium. He wanted vengeance, and swore to protect other mutants like him before he died. He was reborn as a cat. He remembered his identity, and once he was able to transform his bones and claws were all covered with adamantium. Because of that, we have reason to believe that his body, displayed on the National Museum of American History, is still alive.”

“Hope was the daughter of Hank Pym,” Natasha continues. “She died when she was 13, bad guys her parents dragged home. She came back as a cat, because she always wanted to be a hero like her mom. She was adopted by Ant Man, and slowly started to remember once Scott started talking to her human father.”

“And Frank was the Punisher of NYC,” Clint finishes. “He blew himself up with the Kingpin and a bunch of the Hand before Daredevil had time to save him. He came back as a cat and was adopted by their office. He immediately started to remember after that.”

“But I don’t remember anything,” Stevie says with a small voice, getting up and walking to the couch where they can’t touch him. He feels dizzy and confused, angry and disbelieving.

“Steven Grant Rogers,” Bucky says with a hoarse voice. “We went to school together and grew up in the same neighborhood. Lone child. Dad dead. Irish. You were born with... a lot of physical issues, Stevie. Crooked spine, paper lungs, weak heart. Your Ma, she… she worked her ass off, but you didn’t eat well…” He rubs his face with the metal hand. “Look, there’s a reason why your human form is so tiny, Stevie. You never really caught up with the rest of us. You were always so small.” He rubs his hands together. Stevie is going to bite him if he continues to fiddle with them. “We were best friends. We vowed to always be together. When you were 9… That time wasn’t the same as now. Kids died all the time.”

“What are you trying to say?” Stevie whispers.

Bucky inhales deeply, looks at the ceiling briefly and then shrugs his shoulders as he exhales. “Scarlet fever.” It’s an answer Stevie didn’t ask for. “It… it took over Brooklyn, and you didn’t. Make it. You were so small, and you had already lived for far longer than any doctors expected. I was there when the priest administered your last rites. You died in your sleep; maybe that’s why you don’t remember … transitioning as vividly as the others. You died peacefully.”

Stevie stares. “And my mother?”

Bucky meets his eyes evenly. “After you died… you mom just seemed to give up. She went to work, got fed better, but she might as well have been dead. She volunteered nursing at the TB ward. She looked like a ghost. She got hit. Couldn’t shake it.”

Bucky looks at Natasha for a nanosecond, before he continues: “Back then, I thought nothing could break us apart. Our love would always be stronger. Hell, I was convinced that I’d marry you, once I could. You were the boy I wanted to live with for the rest of my life, if you can take a 10-year old’s mindset that seriously. You were also the person I wanted to be. Brave. Honest. You…” He stops, and stares intensely in the air for a second, before he continues: “You were so calm, when you were dying. You were so assured and convinced that we would always be together, that it seemed like you didn’t mind going at all. I resented you for that. Once you died, I was angry and lost. I didn’t know what to do. And then this kitten shows up at my door, angry and hostile but loving once it trusted you. It reminded me so much of you, I couldn’t help myself naming it after you.”

“Stop it,” Lucky wails. “Cat looks sad, stop talking.”

“You’re full of shit!” Steve hisses through his teeth.

“I swear, I’m only telling you what I _know_ is true,” Bucky snaps.

“Oh yeah?” Stevie asks, glaring at him. “You ‘loved me’, but still you held Marcia’s hand at the fare and you even kissed her!”

“What?” Bucky looks stunned for a moment, before he throws out his arms and says: “Why the Hell are you bringing a 90 year old fight into this? And she kissed _me_ , I already told you that!”

“Because your face was so close!” Stevie retaliates. “Now how can that be, when you two were only _friends_?”

“Wait,” Natasha says. “Why did you explain yourself to him?” she asks Bucky. “Back then?”

“Because he was all mad and hissy about it,” Bucky sullenly growls.

“And how do you know Bucky kissed her?” Natasha asks Stevie.

“I saw them,” Stevie says, glaring at Bucky.

And then it clicks.

\----

They’re staying with Xavier until Bucky’s arm has been fixed. Some guy called Forge has volunteered to help out, and Bucky snapchats a selfie with the guy, captioning it **_Nevermind I’ll find someone like you._** Tony replies with a sullen **_This phone is for emergencies_** and a picture of Ross’ pissed face. The picture is taken right below a desk’s edge. Apparently, it’s no longer tense between them, but they make each other exhausted. When they see each other’s faces, it brings up too many bad memories.

But hopefully, things will become better. And soon, Stevie might even get to visit Tony.

“You know, I saved your life,” Lucky not-so-subtly gloats when they’re outside on the lawn, watching the X-men have a class, Clint and Natasha watching from a tree with coffees in their hands.

“You stole my face in the process,” Stevie replies. “I think we’re even.”

Lucky huffs for a moment, before he says: “Will you and Bucky be alright?”

The grass has spots of blood on it. Isn’t this a school for kids?

“I don’t know,” he says, and runs a hand through his hair. “Apparently I’m remembering stuff, but kind of not, and the whole thing with me being a cat – “

“Clint couldn’t get used to it either,” Lucky interrupts and sort of sways towards Stevie, his nose sniffing. “In the beginning. It will come.”

Stevie looks at him and reaches out, stroking Lucky’s hair. Lucky sniffs at his hand, his tail wagging erratically and then leans over and enfolds Stevie in a big hug. “It will be alright, cat. You know how humans are.”

Stevie involuntarily leans in and closes his eyes. “He will come around. I’m so glad you’re back.”

He can feel Lucky smile. “So am I.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it sorta feels like this is a sad ending to the chapter, but it's not? Next chap is going to contain a lot more reconciliation and ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky puts his arms around Stevie’s shoulders and bows his head down, taking Stevie’s breath away. Like he, the only one, could always so easily do.

“Xavier wants to talk to you more,” Stevie lets Wolverine know one evening as they are hiding on the roof.

Wolverine is smoking a big cigar, and the smell irritates Stevie’s nose, but he doesn’t comment on it

"Your point?” Wolverine asks.

“Why won’t you talk to him?” Stevie retorts.

Wolverine shrugs dismissively. He’s a hairy man, and Stevie privately thinks that Wolverine should’ve become a wolf or something instead of cat.

The wild man puffs out smoke into the dark; he’s naked and bare against the silent night. There are voices, muted, all around the school, but mostly the place is asleep. “I already told him my story. Isn’t that enough?”

Stevie shrugs. “He’s just as interested in your past as a mutant, as Bucky is interested in the past he doesn’t always remember.”

Wolverine grunts. “He doesn’t want to know how it was back then. It’s better for them not to know.”

Stevie throws him a heavy glance. “Perhaps. But your cover is blown now. There’s no reason to keep pretending you’re something you’re not.”

Wolverine smiles. “Kid, me not pretending to be something I ain’t is what got me killed in the first place.”

And Stevie can’t say anything to that.

\---

Lucky and Stevie sleep in a special guestroom. Stevie doesn’t know who requested it, but he doesn’t think it was Xavier. There’s a huge bed, and lots of food in the shelves, and for the first couple of days, everything’s good. Stevie gets to cuddle Lucky at night, and slowly get used to having him around again. His big body is so odd; apparently the only reason he’s wearing Stevie’s face, is because Stevie was the last person he looked at. Unlike Stevie, Lucky apparently wasn’t a human before he was a dog, so he had no other shape to take. It’s T’Challa’s best guess, at least.

It seems that Lucky likes being with Stevie too.

And then, of course, one night Clint finally calls Lucky into his room, and Lucky bounces to his side, happy that Clint is relaxing about it. Stevie stays in his bed, and tells himself it doesn’t bother him to sleep alone. Sleep won’t find him though, even at 7 in the morning. He only becomes more upset with himself; he should’ve never transformed. He shouldn’t ever have told Bucky the truth. At least, when Stevie was just a cat to him, Bucky would let him sleep on his chest and that was it. It hadn’t been this complicated.

When he starts to doze at 9 am, he hears at knock at his door; he turns around and calls out for the person to enter.

Bucky lets himself inside.

“What took you so long?” Stevie asks.

“I didn’t know if I was welcome,” Bucky grunts and closes the door behind him.

“Of course you are,” Stevie states, but he can’t help but bitterly let out, “I’ve been sleeping with you for years without a problem, haven’t I?”

“Want me to pet you?” Bucky asks.

“Yes,” Stevie growls.

Bucky inhales shakily and carefully starts to pet Stevie’s hair, his front spooned against Stevie’s back. He’s tense and hesitant, but he’s trying.

“Does this ruin it for you?” Stevie asks, wrapping his tail around Bucky’s thigh. He can feel the muscle tense underneath his fur.

“I’m trying not to let it,” Bucky truthfully says.                                  

Stevie turns around, and drapes a leg up over Bucky’s hip. He wraps his arms around Bucky’s neck. “Kiss me.”

And Bucky does. He leans over, grabs a hold of Stevie’s chin and kisses him. It’s a much better kiss than the one Bucky gave to Marcia. Bucky’s hands glide down to circle Stevie’s waist, and Stevie exhales through his nose. He wriggles until he’s on top of Bucky, and Bucky opens his eyes, looking up at him. Stevie meets his eyes.

“What are we?” Bucky asks.

Stevie feels selfish for a moment. He wants to challenge Bucky, shout, ask how a tail can change the way Bucky looks at him. Before Bucky found out about what Stevie was, what they were had been pretty clear. God. What Stevie would’ve given to get that look back.

“Whatever you want us to be,” Stevie answers and he feels so pathetic, but he needs to realize that he can’t always have what he wants. He’s got a life with Bucky, even after he died. It must be enough. “We can be what you wanted us to be in the beginning. We can just be friends. We can be human and cat. I can transform and never utter a word again.”

“I don’t want that,” Bucky whispers. “Don’t leave me.”

Stevie closes his eyes. “I won’t,” he whispers almost apologetically.

Bucky puts his hands on Stevie’s cheeks and Stevie blinks his eyes open.

“Why don’t you want me?” Stevie whispers, his voice tiny and shaking.

And with a sudden movement Bucky is rolling their weights around, so Stevie is underneath him. Bucky looks so big up there, with Stevie’s tiny wrists wrapped around his neck.

Bucky kisses him again. Their lips are clumsy, their teeth clack. Stevie bites Bucky’s lip until it bleeds. The blood feels like water, and Stevie is so thirsty and he drinks and drinks and drinks.

At some point Bucky slumps, his hair tickling Stevie’s neck. Stevie can feel his hard bulge against his thigh, and Stevie lifts up his knee, rubbing it insistently. Bucky groans, and Stevie feels heat pool at the end of his spine. He feels that his thighs are getting hot and sweaty, his skin sensitive. The chafing of Bucky’s clothes against his skin as Bucky starts to grinding feels painful and good at the same time. Bucky gasps and hikes up Stevie’s skirt. It pools around his hips. He pulls down Stevie’s underwear while Stevie tries to get his fly unbuttoned. His hands are small and clumsy and Bucky puts them away, and takes off his underwear and jeans. Stevie is ambitious though, and he immediately starts tugging at Bucky’s shirt, until it comes up to Bucky’s head. It gets stuck in his arm though, and Bucky’s head is stuck and Stevie continues his rough treatment until the shirt rips. Stevie stiffens but Bucky just laughs, his face still covered and Stevie rips up the rest of the shirt and frees him.

Bucky puts his arms around Stevie’s shoulders and bows his head down, taking Stevie’s breath away. Like he, the only one, could always so easily do. 

“Please,” Stevie gasps and they come together again, sweaty and dripping with precome until they’re slick. The sensation is teasing, almost frustrating, but that just makes it better. Desperately trying to achieve orgasm makes Stevie more focused than ever, and he’s scratching Bucky’s back, wanting it harder, wanting him closer, tighter.

Bucky pulls up the dress to Stevie’s shoulders, and sits up, pulling Stevie up by the waist. Stevie is languid in his hands, liquid courage pouring into the linen like burning scotch and –

Bucky’s mouth closes around Stevie’s nipple. Stevie shouts and groans and their frantic silent frottage becomes wilder, louder. Bucky’s mouth is so hot against him, and he sucks, sucks until his nipples feel raw with sensitivity.

Bucky bites down and Stevie yells again as he comes, his balls clenching and cum spurting onto their stomachs.

He comes to gasping, sweating, feeling like he’s outside his body. Every inch of his form is throbbing and in silent amazement he watches Bucky, on his knees on top of him, furiously jerking his own dick.

Stevie lets out a deep moan and Bucky whimpers. Cum spurts out, landing on Stevie’s pubes and abdomen. Some of it even hits his chest and Stevie can’t help but drive a hand through it, smearing it into his skin smugly. He smells like Bucky, smells like mating, smells like hormones and –

Stevie growls, and rolls them around, Bucky stilling on his stomach. He swipes his hand through their cum, and puts his hand in between Bucky’s ass cheeks, thrusting two fingers into the warm passage.

Bucky groans and squirms on Stevie’s fingers. His groans become louder as Stevie crooks his fingers, and Bucky throws his head to the side, opening his mouth; no sound comes out. His dick starts spurting again, and Stevie leans down, licking the sweat off Bucky’s back.

With Stevie still on top of that big body, they both fall asleep.

\-----

Bucky and Stevie wake up late in the afternoon, their skin itching like crazy from all the dried cum between them. Bucky drags Stevie into the shower, and washes him from top to toe. When they’re done cleaning themselves Bucky finds a tub Vaseline in the room’s first aid kit, and Stevie fingers Bucky into orgasm; it turns out Bucky really likes fingers in his ass. He puffs up his chest, beautiful mouth dropping open and Stevie’s arms curled around his waist is the only thing holding him up.

Stevie watches his breathing get more and more desperate, and Stevie can’t help but taste him, can’t help but sink his teeth into Bucky’s shoulder, his neck, his ear.

Bucky’s legs are too shaky to stand on after he comes, so they sit down. Stevie wants Bucky, wants Bucky in every single way, but Bucky feels so far away all of a sudden, so he just squirms into Bucky’s arms, and hugs him until Bucky’s breath evens.

“I haven’t been this close to somebody for so long,” he breathes.

“I know,” Stevie whispers and kisses his cheeks and suddenly having Bucky returning the favor isn’t that important.

“Come here,” Bucky whispers, and opens his legs for Stevie to come sit. Stevie gives him a questioning look, but Bucky only folds his legs around Stevie’s hips, pulling him in. Stevie positions himself, and he glides inside. Bucky is tight and less wet than what Stevie is used to.

With how much he wants Bucky the pace Stevie sets quickly escalates. He can’t get enough of Bucky’s body. Feeling that beautiful warmth isn’t enough, being joined as they are, as connected is not enough. Bucky’s hole is tight, private, dizzyingly good, but Stevie wants to be closer. He bites Bucky’s skin until he can taste blood, sucks until he feels the skin bruise. He can smell Bucky’s orgasm nearing. He fumbles with his hand, not knowing what he is looking for. Something to clutch perhaps. He finds Bucky’s ankle, and lifts, Bucky groaning as he curls together. Stevie takes him harder, and accidentally scratches Bucky’s foot with his claws. Bucky utters a sound between a laugh and a cry and Stevie laughs and does it again and Bucky shakes with laughter until he comes.

Stevie groans and his hips jerk as Bucky keeps pulling him in.

When Stevie is done and they’re done panting for breath, Stevie claps Bucky’s thigh with his hand and announces: “That’s it, we’re mates.”

He slaps Bucky’s thigh with his tail afterwards, and weirdly, Bucky begins to giggle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to EstherCloyse for the quick betaing of this chap!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He gently reels Bucky in, and then slides a clawed finger across Bucky’s beautiful, red, lips.
> 
> “With these.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

Things settle down after that. The Avengers split up after Banner and Thor come back, and realize what has happened. Banner goes back to India, and Thor moves in with Jane. Scott goes back to whatever he was doing before, but Bucky assures him he’d be on their list the next time the world was attacked. The rest of the Avengers, Lucky and Stevie stay together. At first they go from safe house to safe house in the USA to avoid detection. At some point Lucky eats chocolate pudding and gets food poisoning; they have to stop in Texas, because Lucky needs to be hospitalized. Apparently, his stomach can’t handle what has always been poisonous; Clint has never let Lucky eat chocolate before, so they rule out it being psychological.

Which is, all in all, a great thing, because they give up trying to make Stevie eat vegetables, which lets him go back to his strictly meat diet. Good for Stevie!

In Texas, HYDRA, Spec. Ops and the FBI catch up with them. They fly to Peru last minute and Lucky goes into cardiac arrest on the way. Finally, his supposed-to-be spirit body cleanses out the toxic substance and Lucky returns to his normal disposition. Throughout the trip through Brazil Lucky mostly sleeps and loses weight in his dog form. Which only sucked because Stevie was stuck as a human the whole time, since their police description set off bells ringing in people’s heads as soon as they saw the golden retriever and the tabby cat together with a group of people.

Stevie and Bucky sleep together every night now, if the team isn’t sleeping in the same room. It’s strange and wonderful; Bucky is loose and none-caring in a way Stevie has never seen before.

They all take a boat to Europe; Stevie remains seasick all the way there, and Natasha somehow gets a tan while Bucky continues wearing long sleeves to conceal his arm. When they finally reach the Portuguese coast, Pietro is there waiting for them. He’s tanner than Wanda, and his hair is white all the way through. He leads them through Spain and France, making sure they always have rides and shelter. In Italy they take a boat to the North-African coast, and by car, foot and camel they travel through the Sahara. T’Challa had asked them to lose their tail if they wanted to come and stay in Wakanda, to avoid international conflicts; Stevie sure as Hell hopes all of this was enough.

There, in the sand, far removed from civilization, T’Challa’s people are waiting for them. Natasha is wrapped in wet, white clothes and has been looking like she was going to die any moment. She’s a tough woman, but she’s trained to be a spy – working in civilization with actual people – not a nomad in the desert. She’s promptly thrown into the shadow of a truck, the shade making it cooler. Natasha’s skin is a burning, peeling red; she won’t admit it, but Stevie thinks she’s in pain. Wanda and Pietro make it easier to travel through the sand. Wanda looks free and happy in a way she hasn’t looked since Vision was standing by her side as they raced through the sand.

As soon as they reach Wakanda, Natasha abandons them. She and her skin hate Africa’s sun and it seems like the hate is mutual, since she has taken much more damage than the rest of them. Besides, she needs new connections; someone needs to set up new safety net for them. They see her off as she’s flown to Moscow.

Lucky loves Wakanda. There are not many tamed dogs there, and people, especially the children, are enchanted with his easy-going earnestness. He gets to run for miles and go explore, which is great right until the idiot gets himself lost (which is _every time_ ) and Clint makes Stevie go out and find him.

T’Challa gets in touch with all sorts of priests to find an explanation for why Stevie and Lucky are the way they are. Even though Bucky and Steve decided to leave it alone, T’Challa still wants answers.

“We are all just souls in the endless cycle of reincarnation,” an elderly priestess explains. They can’t see her face; she’s wearing a mask resembling a panther and a long, cloaked, red dress. “We are immortal, and bodies are nothing but shelters. I do not know why – if it is the plan of my goddess or by coincidence or pure willpower – but you were reborn closely to the human you chose and the form you have now as a human is directly linked to your previous life. You became a spirit after your life as a human, and therefore you are a human spirit. You were never really a cat, Stevie. You tell me that after you visited Bucky’s grave, you became young again, stopped aging. But at that time you were already 45 years old; too old to merely be a cat.”

When she sees Stevie has no more questions, she turns toward Lucky and Clint: “However, Lucky is a dog spirit. He became a spirit in his afterlife as a dog. Therefore, his human form is only a medium; an interface of communication between his human and himself. Because of this, he has taken a rather random body: Stevie’s. I am sure, if the dog wanted to, he could change his form as he wanted to in a way Stevie wouldn’t be able to, seeing as Lucky’s human form is only a medium.”

“But why are there more cat spirits than dogs?” Stevie asks. “I’ve met multiple cats, and only one dog. And yes I’m talking about the asshole that _ate my salami this morning_.”

“I said I was sorry!” Lucky whines.

“Cats,” says the priest with a sigh, “have always been a favored animal of the gods.” She points at the enormous statue of a black panther. “They have been the messengers of cosmic beings and the watchers of non-physical beings for decades. It is not that more cats become spirits; it is just that more spirits become cats.”

\----

Now it’s not like T’Challa didn’t give Stevie and Bucky a bedroom. But after so many months on the run, never really feeling quite safe and settled enough to take their time and relax about it, they’re still in the mindset that they have to grab the moment when they had the chance and make the most of it.

Naturally, that meant they had sex everywhere but the bedroom.

It was terrible, really. Bucky got so embarrassed, when he thought he had been caught, but it wasn’t like people outright caught them. They usually hear them first and intentionally walk away. See? It’s a good thing Stevie’s loud. When will Barnes see reason?

Besides, Barnes has a hard time admitting it, but he likes when Stevie takes control. Corners him. Pressures him. Teases him and makes him play along with Stevie’s games.

Of course, that meant they also had to talk about actual boundaries. Bucky likes Stevie being ‘adventurous’ as he calls it, he likes to be pushed into it (“That’s one of the reasons why we always had so much fun when we were kids.”) but there are people he would never want to embarrass himself in front of, scenarios where being caught wasn’t a turn-on, but rather just humiliating. And Stevie can’t always differentiate between what is hot and what is not, so they agree on using traffic lights and that system works out for them.

So yeah, they have sex everywhere until they eventually get used to having a bedroom. Either way, it’s glorious, maybe even better in the bedroom; more green and less yellow! And when they miss the adrenaline rush they do it in the elevator. There’s this tiny elevator up to their suite directly from the eating hall, only made for one person at a time (in the palace there are many elevators going to the same suites and halls, but if the place you’re hopping on isn’t very vacant, the smaller the elevator is). Well, turns out two can fit. If Stevie climbs Bucky like a tree, and clamps his legs around his waist, they have time to come before they reach Bucky’s floor. It’s wonderful. Like a warm-up. Especially because Bucky can go for so many rounds in a row. And Stevie? He never tires from draining the guy.

Another discovery they make: Stevie realizes that they haven’t gotten around to necking with tongue a lot, because it comes as a surprise to Bucky that Stevie’s tongue is like sandpaper. Bucky kinda frets about it at first, which is so uncalled for, it could be worse. Stevie’s dick could be barbed as well, and Bucky would really _hate_ that because he _loves_ , freaking _adores_ Stevie’s dick (it’s about medium size, larger than what would have been proportional though). Bucky loves Stevie’s dick in his mouth, between his thighs, rubbing against his balls, in his tight little hole. See Barnes, it could be worse. You’re totally taking this dick for granted.

However, if Bucky had been worked up for it the rough feeling of Stevie’s tongue is welcomed on Bucky’s nipples, very, very gently on his asshole, and _definitely not my dick or balls you hear me, Stevie? Red._

One night, Bucky cuddles in close, and kisses Stevie’s neck. “We’re so lucky,” he whispers. The tip of his nose is wet against Steve’s nape. “I got to keep you. You’re so strong. I’m so lucky, that you keep finding me.”

Stevie, who has been pretending to sleep, so Bucky can fall asleep and not notice Stevie go to catch some food, opens his eyes. “I’m glad I always have someone to come back to,” he whispers. “Thank you for living. For surviving. Even with everything you’ve been through.”

Bucky kisses Stevie’s neck again, his hand closing around Stevie’s side.

Steve groans, his body wet with sweat. Outside crickets are chirping, and the rest of the jungle is singing with life. Bucky gently starts to rock against him, and Stevie exhales.

“I love you,” Bucky sighs.

And Stevie, out of nowhere, feels a deep sob carve its way out of his lungs.

“I love you,” Bucky whispers, even gentler. “You’re the love of my life.”

And Stevie is sure, for once, that this is true. He can’t change it, won’t change the pure innocence of this moment. How it can be after all that they have been through: Death, sickness, abuse and cruelest of the all, time, is beyond Stevie. But he can’t not appreciate this little... hole in time and space which belongs solely to them. His stomach is full of butterflies, and he’s happy. He’s so happy he feels like crying. It is the truest feeling Stevie has ever felt, come to think of it.

Bucky exhales shakily and wraps his thick arms and legs around Stevie’s small figure.

“I want to make to love you,” he whispers into Stevie’s ear.

Stevie holds his breath, and only exhales when Bucky calmly starts to pepper kisses on his neck. “Won’t it hurt?” Stevie asks.

“I don’t think so,” Bucky carefully answers. “At most, it will burn a little; it did with me. But if we really take our time and be really careful, it shouldn’t hurt at all.”

Stevie tilts his head and Bucky takes the hint. As Bucky sucks marks into the pale skin of Stevie’s neck, Stevie draws a deep breath and says: “Just be careful, okay?”

Bucky makes Stevie turn around and kisses Stevie’s forehead.  
“I promise,” he whispers, and Stevie hesitantly puts a leg over Bucky’s hips.

The man Stevie that loves takes his time. He kisses and nuzzles Stevie until he forgets where this was going. He grabs the lube (already half-empty) on the counter and clicks it open. He makes sure not to drip the cold liquid directly onto Stevie’s hole. Instead he drips it on top of his crack. In no apparent hurry, Bucky spends a long time warming the lube up with his hand, spreading it out evenly, letting his fingers tease closer and closer to Stevie’s hole. He circles the rim with his index finger, tips it inwards like it was going enter him but stops before presses all the way through. Stevie is so rigid he resembles a rock. He curls his fingers around Bucky’s warm, flesh, shoulder. A gentle heat gathers at the base of his spine and travels to his hole. The steady massaging stimulation makes Stevie breath harder and his chest feel lighter.

Finally, almost sneakily, Bucky pushes in the second finger alongside the first. Stevie twitches with the feeling (it feels like taking a dump if anyone asked Stevie), but lets Bucky continue his ministrations. He could get used to this; he wants Bucky to feel as good as Stevie did when he fucked Bucky.

Maybe Bucky doesn’t know what good is supposed to feel like? Has Stevie been putting him through shitty sex for almost five months? The guy had been tortured for 70 years, so it wouldn’t be weird if he registered “non-hurting touch” as “good, pleasurable touch”.

Before Stevie can decide what he’s going to do with that thought, Bucky starts easily gliding his fingers in and out. Hm. Not bad. Stevie likes the feeling just at his ring, likes the thought of Bucky entering him. Bucky slowly pulls out his fingers, before pressing in again with three. This time the force is a little more insistent, and Stevie hisses, arching his back. Bucky stills, but Stevie… he doesn’t know. There’s something about the feeling that is good in a way. It feels like something is tingling? Sparking? In there, and it needs to be stimulated. Stevie wiggles with the thought of it. And the thought Bucky’s dick in place of his fingers –

Stevie moans when Bucky curls his fingers, grinding his hips against Bucky’s abdomen in pleasure. He groans again, and tries to grind against Bucky harder, to get some stimulation and Bucky neatly follows suit. He starts fingering Stevie in time with Stevie’s grinding, and that feels really good, actually. The sensation is less like shitting, and more like… what being entered by the man you loved was supposed to feel like.

Stevie almost cries out when Bucky’s fingers thrust in, until they’re bottomed out and Stevie is tightening around them, wants them deeper, broader, he is missing something he’s not sure he has ever felt before.

Stevie reaches out and cups Bucky’s cock. Shit. The feeling of Bucky, hard as a rock, sweaty and probably all colored with arousal underneath those sweats… Stevie impatiently slides them off, just as Bucky carefully adds the next finger. Stevie holds Bucky’s dick as he hisses, getting used to the sensation. It’s only becoming better and better.

Finally, Stevie untangles his hand and motions Bucky onto his back. Impatiently Stevie almost rips off the sweats, and can’t help but drool; Bucky went commando. Of course he did. He had just taken a shower, and the night was theirs; there’d be no logic in wearing underwear.

Stevie mounts Bucky, takes his dick in hand and slides down onto it with abandon. The sensation is unlike anything Stevie has ever tried before. It was like… it was Bucky inside of him? A part of Bucky that was his flesh and blood was inside of Stevie. It felt sacred; almost like a religious experience. It felt intensely pleasurable. Felt like Stevie would never let anyone know him as intimately as Bucky did. Bucky was inside of him, mating him.

There was no question that Bucky had always been Stevie’s.

But in this second Stevie knows he is Bucky’s.

“Suck my tits,” Stevie hisses, and when Bucky isn’t moving fast enough, he grabs his head, pressing Bucky’s pretty fucking lips against his nipples. “Lick my tits, Bucky.”

Stevie isn’t going to last long like this, but it’s worth it. Bucky gets a firm grip on Stevie’s hips, but lets Stevie do all of the work by himself. Let’s Stevie thrust his hips, go from rocking them gently to riding him hard, bouncing up and down as Bucky sucks and licks his nipples, pinches them with his cold metal fingers, rubbing them with his flesh fingers afterwards until Stevie doesn’t know if they hurt, or it’s the constant shift between cold and hot making them sting.

“Yes,” he gasps. “Yes, yes, Bucky, you’re so good, you’re so good, fuck me harder. Harde- _harder, harder, harder_ , _ahn_ – “ Stevie’s directions dissolves into loud shouts and sobs, his hips barely moving. Bucky is fucking up into him hard, and Steve can feel the, slippery foreskin sliding back and forth when Bucky slips out.

“Yes, please, Bucky, more, more,” Stevie sobs and Bucky closes his teeth around Stevie’s nipples, and Stevie throws his head back, eyes pinching together. He comes so hard it almost hurts; like his hips are cracking, like his skin is burning, his blood turning into steam. His balls clench, and he cums all over Bucky’s abs. Bucky’s tongue is gentle and soothing against Stevie’s chest now, and Stevie pulls him back by the hair, smearing his cum into Bucky’s mouth with his fingers. Bucky’s tongue pokes out, to get the white fluid all over those gorgeous lips, smears it all over, makes Stevie return to fucking Bucky senseless. Now he leans backwards, his hands holding himself up as he uses his flexibility to lower himself down onto Bucky’s erection.

He’s insanely sensitive, but that actually makes it better; soreness never felt so good.

He flops down on the bed, Bucky’s dick slapping his stomach as it exits Stevie. Stevie looks at Bucky, meets his eyes. Bucky seems dazed, and he’s breathing a bit heavily. He’s still, not moving to touch Stevie, so Stevie reaches out, and jerks Bucky off. Bucky’s hands clench, and he throws his head back, moaning.

Stevie rolls onto his stomach, and sticks his ass up in Bucky’s direction. “Come on, big boy,” Stevie whispers, reaching backwards to touch his hole. It feels swollen, wet and it flutters against his claws. “Finish what you started.”

Immediately Bucky is on his knees, walking on them towards Stevie. Stevie looks over his shoulder, before he slumps down onto his folded arms, ass up. Bucky penetrates him with a groan, grabbing ahold of Stevie’s hips as he goes.

“Please,” he whimpers at Bucky. “Breed me.”

Bucky obediently snaps his hips forward, and Stevie jolts, groaning.

“Fuck me like this is the last time,” he whispers. “Show me how much you love me. Yes, Bucky. Yes, more. More, Bucky. Yes, fuck… _fuck_ … fuck me harder. _Harder_.”

His yowling ends up being drowned out by the sound their skin slapping together and Bucky’s groans of pleasure. It seems Bucky is starting to let himself go a little, fucking Stevie like he has never had such a pretty ass in his life.

“You like that?” Stevie asks, pulling his ass cheeks apart for Bucky. “You like fucking my hole, my… my fucking _cunt_.”

Bucky writhes, growls and slows down a little bit, visibly restraining himself. His thrusts are hard and quick, with tiny pauses in-between. Stevie knows he will come too quickly if does it as fast as Stevie is trying to make him do.

“Yeah, you like that,” he sighs, and Bucky steadily picks up the pace again. “You like… You like your fucking dick in me, don’t you? Come on, Bucky show me…”

Stevie almost yelps with surprise as Bucky outright rams Stevie forwards on the bed now, his fingers tightly clamped around Stevie’s hips. Stevie can’t help but giggle, clenching the sheets.

“Come on, Bucky, pull my hair… No, make a fist and pull it. Harder. I _can’t feel_ it, more!” Stevie cries out as his body is pulled up along Bucky’s chest, solely through the fist in Stevie’s hair. And now Stevie knows; he’s sure.

Bucky has lost control. _Finally._

“Fuck me,” he snaps. “Fuck me, fuck my little cunt, fuck me like an animal, Bucky, _come on_ – “

And Bucky does, lost in it, sweat dripping down his forehead, Stevie screaming himself hoarse with it, his dick soft but his asshole throbbing and his prostate flaring with every glance against it.

“Yes, baby,” Stevie purrs. “Yes, baby, that’s it, love me, fuck me, fuck me until I can’t walk, make me yours, hold me tight, just hold me _tighter_ – “

Bucky does, holds Stevie so tight it’s like he’s surrounded, and it’s like he’s being bound at this point, Bucky still hectically ramming into Stevie with abandon.

“You want to fill me up with your cum?” Stevie gasps, riding Bucky out like his life depends on it, even though his hole is throbbing and feels like it’s burning. Funny how Stevie is the one getting fucked, and it still feels like Bucky is under his control. “You want to fill me up with your cum, make my stomach big with your kittens?”

Bucky yells and thrusts, pauses, and thrusts quickly a dozen more times before he’s finally cumming. He whimpers brokenly, still holding onto Stevie’, and Stevie rubs his arm as he feels hot liquid slide out of his hole and drip down his legs. He feels oddly blank and yet so alive at the same time. Bucky won’t let go of him, so Stevie shrugs himself loose and slides down the bed on his back. The linen and pillows feel cold against his skin.

He spreads his legs, pulling Bucky toward the mess they made together. “Clean it up.”

Bucky, whose dick is still half-hard, tiredly starts to get up. Stevie’s tail wraps around Bucky’s wrist before he can leave.

“No, not with a wash-clothe.”

He gently reels Bucky in, and then slides a clawed finger across Bucky’s beautiful, red, lips.

“With these.”

Bucky falls onto his stomach, and lazily nuzzles in between Stevie’s legs. On his broad back, Stevie can see pink marks off his own claws, extending from the top of Bucky’s shoulders to the small of his back. Stevie closes his legs around Bucky, spreads his arms out and enjoys the feeling while lazily looking down.

Bucky’s tongue is gentle, yet hungry; the air around them is hot and humid, and Stevie’s sweat is cold. Everything feels like it has finally come together and the ache in Stevie’s chest… The ever-present pain is gone and Stevie feels like he can finally, really breathe. He inhales deeply and Bucky makes a soothing noise in the back of his throat, which turns into a delighted hum when Stevie drives his slender fingers through Bucky’s thick hair.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So finally we reached the end! Please let me know how I did (since endings are what I'm the absolute worse at).  
> I tried to finish the story a little less "and then they lived happily ever after".  
> I hope you liked that. If you didn't, let me know why.  
> Hopefully I will see you on another project!  
> Again, great thanks to Esthercloyse for the quick beta!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are very appreciated :D


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